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“I Don’t Look Back and Regret Anything”

in Do What You Love, Rants

My post earlier this week on Osama bin Laden’s death stirred up a tiny minority of readers.

It wasn’t my goal to be “political” or “arrogant” – it was my goal to express and ask the tough questions I was struggling with. That said, I know death – especially in that situation – can be controversial.

Today, however, I stumbled across another story of a death. And once again, I’m moved to share this with you.

Yesterday, Derek K. Miller posted his “Last Post” on his blog (or rather his family did).

You see, “Derek doesn’t exist anymore” (as he says it). He succumbed to cancer – a fate all his loved ones and readers knew was coming. I didn’t know Derek or his writing before today – but there have been very few posts that have impacted me the way this one did.

Before he lost his battle with cancer, Derek wrote his last post – and asked his family to post it once he passed.

He reflects on his life and his view of the world – which whether you agree with it or not – has tear-inducing power.

One line above all stuck with me.

As he says his final goodbyes to his wife and two young daughters, he states “I don’t look back and regret anything, and I hope my family can find a way to do the same.”

[Do yourself a favor and read Derek's last post today]

Remember, this blog is about our journey (and your journey) to consciously live life. Taking back control of your finances is a HUGE step in this process – but it’s not the only step.

In my mind, stories like this are the reason this journey is worth it. It’s the reason we attack our debt… the reason we purge our meaningless stuff… the reason we ruthlessly pursue our true passions.

I don’t know about you, but my ultimate goal is to be like Derek.

I want to be able to proudly say – both now and on my death bed…

“I don’t look back and regret anything”.

*****

photo by dawn

{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

Kates May 5, 2011 at 7:19 PM

Adam, I couldn’t agree more! I read that post after you put it up on Facebook and it moved me as well. My goal is to always have that kind of passion in my life for what I do, who is around me, and how I live each day.

What an inspirational post, and I fully agree with you and the purpose of your blog to get out of debt, purge your crap… and live your life as freely as you choose to!

xoxo,
.Kates.

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Jeff May 5, 2011 at 7:26 PM

Very nice post baker

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Rachel May 5, 2011 at 7:29 PM

Thanks for sharing this with your readers, Adam. I’ve read Derek’s las post several times in the last two days. I want to live my life like that too, without looking back and without regret.

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owe-nothin May 5, 2011 at 7:38 PM

“It turns out that no one can imagine what’s really coming in our lives. We can plan, and do what we enjoy, but we can’t expect our plans to work out. Some of them might, while most probably won’t. Inventions and ideas will appear, and events will occur, that we could never foresee. That’s neither bad nor good, but it is real.” ~ Derek K. Miller – Vancouver, Canada

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1384031/Canadian-blogger-Derek-Miller-announces-death-post-grave.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

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Alex Humphrey May 5, 2011 at 8:14 PM

Amen, Baker. That post is amazing.

“I don’t look back and regret anything, and I hope my family can find a way to do the same.”

Tonight I had a difficult conversation with my wife because she needed me to be there for her. It was difficult and my first instinct was to bail. But I didn’t, instead I loved her the way she needs me to and I have no regrets at all.

Thank you Baker for sharing Derek with us. It has touched me and hopefully many more.

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Colleen May 5, 2011 at 9:09 PM

Thanks for sharing Derek’s story, it’s very sad he died so young. Reading true stories like that really puts things in perspective, it reminds you what’s important.

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Jan May 5, 2011 at 9:56 PM

Powerful- I can say nothing more.

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Kait Palmer May 5, 2011 at 10:29 PM

I was just thinking about that concept today. Watching the reality show “17 and Counting” I was thinking how some of their choices are not for me, but if their kids look back and have zero regrets with how they lived their life, that’s what’s important. Thanks for sharing about Derek.

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Miss Britt May 6, 2011 at 7:57 AM

Thank you for sharing that.

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Gillian @OneGiantStep May 6, 2011 at 8:39 AM

We should all leave this world with such grace and courage…and with no regrets. Thanks Adam.

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Jolyn @Budgets are the New Black May 6, 2011 at 10:06 AM

Am I the only one who’s sad that he believed there was nothing to greet him after he died? I am sad for his family and their loss. But I am even sadder that he thinks this is all there is. I pray that someday his family, his daughters, will know that there is something even greater out there waiting for us, that living without regrets isn’t all there is.

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Joan May 6, 2011 at 11:32 PM

Jolyn, I agree. When I shared this on my own Facebook page, I phrased it as, “While I may not agree with Derek’s views about what happens when you die, I agree with much of what he says about what happens when you truly live.”

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Jolyn @Budgets are the New Black May 7, 2011 at 11:31 AM

Joan- so true. And I did appreciate that about his post. I just couldn’t get over my sadness about his atheism, and what that means for his family who are left. It just makes me so sad. I know I’m being redundant, but that feeling was so pervasive for me when I read his parting thoughts, it was difficult for me to separate it from the rest.

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Mohamed Shedou May 6, 2011 at 12:53 PM

Well that reminded me of what the dying girl said in “A Walk to Remember”:

“I can look back and know that I couldn’t have tried to help other people any more than I did.”

We forget about death too often. Remembering it more often as a fact of life would balance our living! It would help us make better decision as to which paths to take and the directions that are worhty of both life and death.

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David May 6, 2011 at 4:35 PM

After your USA-USA ‘glad he’s dead’ jingoism, I’m not sure if I want to buy your new product now (having bought your ebook).

One reason to hold off and be prudent before commenting – you don’t know what happened with Osama Bin Laden. No one knows except a small group of elite politicians + military personnel.

You only ‘know’ what your President + your media tell you.

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Living the Balanced Life May 6, 2011 at 8:02 PM

My husband had a brain aneruysm 2.5 years ago. He survived with no problems. He has changed his outlook on life and is trying to live with no regrets.
Thanks for sharing, Baker!
Bernice

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Frugal Living May 7, 2011 at 10:08 AM

I don’t regret anything in my past either because I take it as a learning experience

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George May 7, 2011 at 1:04 PM

I believe there is one thing Derek will look back on and regret… not knowing God personally – as Savior and Lord – instead of the “nothing” he describes.

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Christopher May 7, 2011 at 3:49 PM

Thank you for sharing this powerful piece.

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Stephen Murphey May 7, 2011 at 3:58 PM

Derek K. Miller’s post is a both incredibly sad, hopeful and a reminder about what is really important in our lives. Lately I’ve been so caught up in how bad the economy and the job situation is that I’ve lost sight of what’s really important:friends and family, the life we live and those we leave behind.

Side note: I really appreciated your perspective on Bin Laden’s death, guess you can’t please everyone (nor should you try).

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Liane May 8, 2011 at 9:33 PM

Wow..thanks for sharing this. It may be cliche to say things like “life is short” or “its all about the journey”…but it really is.

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Danielle May 9, 2011 at 11:30 AM

Thank you for sharing this. Beautiful.

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Jacob @ My Personal Finance Journey May 9, 2011 at 5:14 PM

Dang! That’s a very powerful story! Heading over to read the post now!

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Spunky Jones May 13, 2011 at 1:51 PM

It is important to live or life to the fullest. I am a cancer survivor, one of the lucky ones. However, it did spread to my lymphoids, and it certainly could come back, at anytime.

There were times that I didn’t think I would make it. But, by the grace of God, I was spared.

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Brittany June 2, 2011 at 12:18 PM

I’m glad that you have no regrets and are living your life to the fullest! It isn’t always easy to do that. I don’t really have any regrets either as I’ve learned from every mistake or bad experience.

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Judy June 2, 2011 at 6:29 PM

I think your family did what a lot of Americans have failed to do, live within your means. I haven’t had a major credit card since 1997 and my only debt now is a small mortgage, which I am working to pay off. I’ve found that without credit cards I can pay cash. If I can’t pay cash, or get interest free financing, I don’t buy it. Downsizing is the trick. Good luck on our journeys.

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Carlito Labarda Jr. June 30, 2011 at 5:51 PM

I truly enjoyed a lot of your information on eliminating debt….some of the info in amazing. Thank you. I just started my own true life debt elimination project and would love to share your articles and blogs with my readers. I’m hoping to help, not only myself, but people who need information and guidance eliminating their debts. My blogsite: ‘CarlitosWayOutOfDebt.blogspot.com’. If you don’t mind, I will share your link on my blog. Thanks again and let’s all get out of debt.

Sincerely,

Carlito

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Denny November 30, 2011 at 3:21 AM

I am very impressed with your views and I also think that we should work on it. This is a good way to explore your views as well as your fellow bloggers. We all need to stand for this to get out of debt disaster and make our life financially free.

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