14

“Debt Comes Calling” – A Fictional Short Story

in Pay Off Your Debt, People & Products

This is a guest (short story) by Kosmo. Kosmo has been a member of the MvD Community and frequent commenter since the very first few weeks.  In his own words Kosmo is “an aspiring novelist, vehement opponent of the designated hitter, student of true crime, and plays the keyboard for The Soap Boxers — an eclectic, team-written web magazine.”

Debt Comes Calling…

Adam Baker was jarred awake at the crack of noon by the interruption of the doorbell. Baker cursed under his breath, wondering who could be interrupting his much needed beauty rest.

Baker trudged down the stairs to the front door and opened it a crack. His visitor immediately burst through the door, sending Baker flying backward.

“Hello, Baker,” came the exuberant greeting. “My name is Debt, and I’m here to sell you something – anything! You know, I could sell you a high end video surveillance system so that you could screen visitors and keep out the riffraff. Opening the door is so 1974.”

“Not interested,” came the firm, polite reply.

Debt looked around the house. “This is a swell little cottage, Baker, but couldn’t you go for something a bit more upscale? Maybe a nice little 4500 square foot McMansion, with an in-ground pool in the back.”

“No,” replied Baker.

“If the cost is concerning you, don’t worry! I’ll give you 30 years to pay it off – at a negligible interest rate of six percent.”

“I’m not interested,” came the reply from an increasingly agitated Baker.

“Fine, fine. Keep living in this little hut if you desire. But your car – that really must go. A young man like you, with the wonderful future you have in front of you, you should really have something with a bit more flash. Porsche makes some very fine cars. All of them available on credit, of course.”

“Leave. Now.” Baker moved back into the kitchen. He grabbed an knife and waved it menacingly at the intruder.

Debt laughed. “You call that a knife? THIS is a knife.” He whipped out a full set of RazorSharp knives. “These are the finest knives in the world. Guaranteed to never go dull. If they do, just send in the dull knife for a full replacement. This set typically goes for $179.99 – but for you, Baker, just $99.99. This offer is only good today – so act now.”

Baker lunged toward Debt. He missed and crashed into a lamp, sending it to the floor in several pieces.

“You know what you need, Baker. A new lamp. Look at these beauties,” he said, pulling several Polaroids from his pocket. “Wouldn’t these look great on your end table? And that end table. Yes, something should be done about that.”

“I don’t want to buy any of your crap,” yelled Baker. “Leave my house, you trespassing pile of sleaze!”

“I’m offended, Baker. Why can’t you show me the love that everyone else does? Everyone loves me – I can help you buy so many great things.”

Baker grabbed his well-worn Louisville Slugger and took a swing at Debt. Debt ducked out of the way and the bat whooshed harmlessly over his head.

“Whoa. You seem to be under a lot of stress, Baker. You know what you need – a vacation. I can offer you some great deals on Caribbean cruises.”

“Yes,” agreed Baker. “Let’s take a trip.”

“Really?” asked Debt, caught off guard by Baker’s sudden change in tone. “Where?”

“Outside!” Baker flung the door open, grabbed Debt by the scruff his neck, and threw him onto the sidewalk. He closed, locked, and dead-bolted the door before returning upstairs to sleep.

Note: Many of you know that I run very few guest posts, however after seeing the creativity in this submission, honesty how could I resist?  I hope you enjoyed!  If you are looking for more of this change of pace, Kosmo has several (insanely cheap) collections of short stories for download.  At the very least, do me a favor and test out The Soap Boxers.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Benny the Irish polyglot April 9, 2010 at 10:45 AM

In the manvsdebt battle, the results are in:
Man 1, Debt 0

Reply

Peter April 9, 2010 at 10:51 AM

Great piece of creative writing. I enjoyed it! Especially how Baker is so violent towards his intruder, menacing him with knives and baseball bats. Although – you gotta work on your ninja skills a bit there Adam.

Reply

Adrienne April 9, 2010 at 12:06 PM

Great story! I really like that Baker never gives in to debt. :)

Reply

Kosmo @ The Casual Observer April 9, 2010 at 2:26 PM

Thanks for the nice words, folks.

If there are other bloggers who would like a story written about them, drop me a note at kosmo@observingcasually.com and we can discuss. People with a large following will probably get a closer initial look, simply because I’m trying to build my brand, and exposure is good. However, if you have an interesting enough background, this would trump audience size. I can’t promise specific turnaround times at this point due to infant-induced free time deprivation.

As Baker mentions, some of the prices are indeed insanely cheap. In fact, the only thing in the store priced at more than $3.99 is the unlimited download annual pass. There are a few things under $2. Everything comes with a 10 day money back guarantee. Don’t like it? Ask for a refund – no questions asked. My fiction runs the gamut from humor to violent crime. You’ll probably find stories that you like or dislike in each collection.

For the next month, I’m giving Man Vs. Debt customers an extra 20% off. Just use coupon code MANDEBT20 at checkout,

Reply

Stacey April 9, 2010 at 10:43 PM

Go Baker!

Reply

Kosmo @ The Casual Observer April 9, 2010 at 10:44 PM

In case anyone was trying to access The Casual Observer earlier, there was a problem with my webhost that knocked us offline for about 5 hours. Sorry about that – that’s not typical at all. Thanks for you patience.

Reply

Tyler Jorgenson April 10, 2010 at 2:45 AM

I checked the list. Baker doesn’t own a baseball bat. Now we KNOW this story isn’t true.

Great post!

Reply

kosmo @ The Casual Observer April 10, 2010 at 10:33 AM

Lol. Nice catch, Tyler. Let’s assume some artistic license?

Reply

debtbuster May 31, 2010 at 2:44 AM

How can anyone NOT love this story?!? I enjoyed it. If only everyone was that aggressive towards their debts. We won’t have any debt problems!

Reply

Leave a Comment

{ 5 trackbacks }