I’m extremely excited to share with you a talk I gave as part of TEDx here in Asheville a little over a month ago. Some of my favorite online sources of inspiration are TEDx Talks, so I was honored to be invited to give one myself!
I spent a lot of time planning and preparing what I believed to be the most powerful and concise version of our message here at Man Vs. Debt. I’m extremely pleased with how it turned out!
It revolves around finding your own answer to one powerful, life-changing question.
It’s less than 20-minutes long. I think you’ll love it!
Note: I have a deep passion for speaking and would love to add a couple more events to my 2012 speaking schedule! If you know of any opportunities, conferences, or events – don’t hesitate to reach out to me. You can email me directly at Baker(at)ManVsDebt.com.
“Daddy, we need to plug my Leeeeap Frog into the puuuuuter.”
“Why is that, Milli?”
“I want some more of this…”
“Some more of what?”
“Some more of this stuff. I’m out of it.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about, Milli.”
“My Leeeeap Frog is sayin’ I need to plug it into the puuuuuter to get more.”
[At this point I realize what's going on. You see, if you don't have small children - "LeapFrog" is an educational handheld video game system. Or at least that's the goal. Milligan had used up all her "food" in her game - and in order to get more - you have to plug it into you computer and BUY more.]
“Oh Milli, that costs money to buy that stuff. I don’t think we’ll do that this time.”
“But I really want to plug this into the puuuuter and get more!”
“I’m sorry Milli, but we aren’t going to spend money on that.”
“I have monies!”
“Well, you have a few coins. But I think that costs a couple dollars. I’m not sure you have the much money.”
“I could get more money.”
“Ugh… I SAID… well… I guess… I guess you could do that. Where are you going to get more money?”
“The bank.”
“The bank doesn’t just give you money. You have to put money in there and they keep it safe for you.”
“YOU could give me more money for my Leeeeap Frog.”
“No, we already talked about that. How could YOU get more money?”
“I don’t know.”
“How do Mommy and Daddy get more money?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do. We try to help people. And we have to work really hard to do that. What do you do really well?”
“I paint pictures.”
“That’s a great idea, Milli. You are great at painting. You could paint pictures and sell them!”
“Sell my paintings?”
“If you paint really pretty pictures, I bet [insert multiple family member names] would buy one of them over Thanksgiving from you. If you saved all your money from that, you could get more food in your LeapFrog.”
[Milli thinking for a long moment]
“Milli, how much would you charge for your paintings?”
“5.”
“5, what?”
“5 quarters.”
“I think that’s a fair price. You know what, we have that painting you did on the wall. Remember? I could buy that from you to start. How much would that be?”
[Milli thinks for another 5 seconds or so]
“6 quarters.”
“What? You told me 5 just a few seconds ago?”
“No… it’s SIX quarters, Daddy.”
“Alright, you drive a hard bargain, but I’ll give you 6 quarters when we get home. You’ll need to save your money in a safe place.”
*****
And so, over the next few days, Milligan painted another 5 or 6 small paintings in preparation for Thanksgiving holiday. Sure enough, she had no problem selling out very quickly.
She now has plenty of quarters saved up – but hasn’t yet brought up the LeapFrog again. If she does, we’ll upload the in-game items for her like promised.
We haven’t yet covered that we need to save money and give some of the money. We’ll have a bit left over to consider that.
We haven’t yet covered how buying digital items may lead to a very short-term high, before buyer’s remorse sets in quickly.
We haven’t yet talked about how selling to family isn’t a good long-term growth strategy.
But at three and a half years old, I figure we have some time.
For now, I think this is a good start.
*****
What are your thoughts on raising entrepreneurial kids?
I’ve written a lot about our own journey to redefine freedom over the last few years. But this community is so powerful because it’s made up of thousands of stories of people chasing their own dreams.
We’ve shared some of these stories before – and I’m always ecstatic to shine the spotlight. I’ve got another great story for you today.
Dustin Koester (in the picture above) has been a long-time member of the Man Vs. Debt community. In fact, he’s been around longer than any of you!
You see, he was part of the community before it even started. Dustin’s a life-long friend of mine – and responsible for almost every graphic (including the very first logo) and design you see on Man Vs. Debt or our guides/courses.
Dustin’s great at graphic design and helping as a creative consultant on projects, but that’s not what he was born to do.
“Yeah, I can’t believe it. I’m surprised at how sad I am really. It sucks.”
“Me too. It feels like my favorite musician died, you know? I feel a weird connection…”
*****
I was surprised last night to hear Steve Jobs passed away.
As I watched the tweets pour in, this is what I came away with:
Seriously, when’s the last time we cared this much about the leader of a billion dollar company?
People around the U.S. are getting together and protesting greed, excess, and bloated corporations as we speak… yet we celebrate this man who ran one of the largest, most powerful brands we’ve ever seen.
What did he do so different?
The answer may be in a video tweeted out by Richard Branson last night. It’s a 1997 Apple commercial narrated by Steve Jobs himself:
Or maybe the answer can be hidden in what I consider one of the most motivating videos on the internet (Steve’s commencement speech at Stanford):
Or maybe we can find the answer in this simple quote:
“Being the richest man in the cemetary doesn’t matter to me… Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful… that’s what matters to me.” -Steve Jobs (WSJ 1993)
Steve Jobs inspired millions to change the world.
In honor of Steve, here are my two new life goals:
I will help one million people get out of debt.
I will raise one billion dollars for charity.
Over the last three years, I can point to at least 100 emails of people who’ve claimed we’ve helped them in whole or part get completely out of debt. I will record the names of each person, all the way to one million.
I’ve also helped raise $45,500 for charity so far through this blog and other online avenues. Before I’m done this will be $1,000,000,000.
The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world…
In the video review above, I share my honest feelings about the book along with my two major takeaways from consuming it over the weekend.
Note: Today is the very last day to take advantage of special pre-order bundles available at the book’s website. Tomorrow is the official launch (these offers go away)!
Uncertainty is something we all deal with.
Anytime we attempt a major life change, we face uncertainty. Anytime we attempt to solve a problem with creativity, we face uncertainty.
We all face uncertainty, but most of us go about this in the wrong way!
We attempt to eliminate uncertainty from our lives. We try to get to a point of absolutely certainty before we take action.
But if we wait around for a moment where we have complete certainty… we end up doing NOTHING!
Anything in life worth doing is going to involve massive levels of uncertainty.
If Jonathan has taught me only one thing, it’s that action in the face of uncertainty is the path to a fulfilling life. In fact, it’s a requirement of a fulfilling life.
Here’s a recap of my takeaways from Uncertainty:
Major Takeaway #1: Our fear of being judged is keeping us from living the life that we know is possible. We must take concrete steps to counteract this. (Jonathan covers these early in the book.)
Major Takeaway #2: 90% of the fear and doubt of a life change exists only in our heads. You’ll always have some uncertainty, but a few simple questions can dissolve the majority of it almost immediately. (This comes later in the book.)
Jonathan’s three questions (Chapter 9: Own The Story Line)…
My favorite part of the entire book happens in Chapter 9 towards the end.
Jonathan suggests that when we’re faced with any decision or major life change, we need to ask ourselves the following:
Question 1: “What if I go to Zero?” — Write down the worst possible outcome of trying and failing. Be realistic, but be honest.
Question 2: “What if I do nothing?” – Write everything that’ll stay the same if you take NO action to change.
Question 3: “What if I succeed?” – Write down what would happen if you DID accomplish the change or shift in your life. Be as specific as possible.
Whether or not you can get your hands on a copy of Uncertainty, I challenge you to apply Jonathan’s 3 questions to a big decision or change in your own life.
Write down (on paper) your answers to each of the 3 questions.
For me, I didn’t even have to spend time looking at the answers. Just the process of writing down my answers immediately dissolved 90% of the fear and doubt I had attached to a recent decision.
It was almost all in my head!
Give the exercise a try – and I strongly recommend you grab a copy of Uncertainty and read it this weekend.
For more information check out Jonathan’s raw, inspiring book trailer…
It’s one of my top three books for anyone who has to creatively solve problems in business or life. And I’m guessing you probably fall into that category.
I’m a bit exhausted, but far more excited to announce that the newly-redesigned You Vs. Debt class is open for registration starting today!
We’ve designed the structure of the course to focus around daily, bite-size chunks that anyone can knock out quickly.
It only takes an average of 15 minutes per day, but when applied consistently over the 6-week framework, this amount of time can yield fantastic results.
Here’s some of the new structure we’ve created:
Daily lessons delivered via video, MP3, and text transcripts.
Each video contains a lesson, a specific challenge, and a worksheet that you’ll be expected to fill out.
We’ll send out weekly accountability surveys to track your progress and check your momentum.
You’ll have the opportunity to unlock badges and publicly display progress on your profile and in the forums.
But more important than fancy, new features is the why…
There are millions of people in financial situations that keep them pinned down. And the truth is, a big percentage of these people know better.
They even know exactly what needs to be done. But they still can’t manage to bring it all together and change their habits.
Over the last two weeks, we’ve talked about how habit change is not about simply knowing more. It’s about understanding how our emotional mind and logical mind work together to create lasting change.
I’m so passionate about this non-conventional approach, that I’ve designed You Vs Debt around it completely.
The entire focus is to get people to stick with the program and finish.
I’m CRAVING results for the people who jump in on this. We’ve broken it down into small pieces. We’ve installed game mechanics to help make it fun. We’ve brought together a community of other like-minded people.
I can’t make you (or anyone else) show up and focus for 15-20 minutes a day.
Seriously, we are THAT intent on getting results for people who show up and stick to the plan.
Your one-time enrollment also covers lifetime membership!
Meaning even if you miss a week or two, you’ll be able to pick up where you left off in any future classes down the road.
*****
Lastly, I’ll be doing a no-holds-barred Q&A session this coming Wednesday at 9 p.m. EST.
It’s the first time I’ve done something like this and I’ll shoot out more information about it tomorrow. If you’ve ever wanted to ask about finance, debt, travel, business, life, or anything else you can think of… this is the chance. It should be a blast!
*****
Thanks again for all your support. If you know someone who can use motivation and accountability to passionately attack their debt – I appreciate if you forward them over to You Vs. Debt this week.
Note: Let me know what you think of the video above! It’s a sample daily video (Day 5) from the new 6-week You Vs Debt class that opens early next week!
There are hundreds of factors that weigh into the success of a change.
But time and time again, I’m convinced that one single factor outweighs all the others:
The support and excitement of a respected loved one!
I know for sure that the financial changes I’ve made, the growth of this community, or any of the strides I’ve made in person freedom and creativity wouldn’t have been possible without the support and excitement of Courtney.
It’s really that simple.
Courtney’s support has been the #1 factor in every positive change I’ve made in the last 5 years.
Now, don’t let me paint you a rose-colored picture here. Most times we don’t start on the same page. Many times getting to the same page isn’t the prettiest in the world. We are far, far away from being the perfect family or couple.
But we have found a way to prioritize being on each others’ bandwagon.
If Courtney believes deeply in something (and I’m aware enough to know that), I try to do my best to be her #1 supporter and fan. It may not happen overnight, but we are well aware of how important this support is in our lives!
But I know from experience that things don’t always go smoothly…
In addition to learning from our own mistakes, I’ve heard from hundreds and hundreds of readers of the last few years with similar hiccups.
Sometimes our own excitement and values can be so far apart from our loved ones that we can feel completely alone.
But that’s rarely the actual case. And in these vulnerable moments many times we can find ourselves scapegoating our loved ones:
“I’m ready for change, but my husband just won’t help me out…”
“We’d turn around our finances, but with three young kids in school we just have too much responsibility to do ____________.”
“My friends don’t get it…”
Some or all of these statements may be true in your life.
But it’s my experience that it’s easy to blame others than realize just how much control we DO have in our own lives.
I read a quote – or truth of sorts – a couple years ago and it stuck with me.
“The meaning of any communication is the response it elicits.”
I love this way of thinking, because it returns the responsibility for results back onto me. If Courtney doesn’t give me the response or support I’m looking for, it’s very likely a result of poor communication on my part.
This may not be true ALL of the time, but it’s definitely been true MOST of the time for me.
With this paradigm in mind, here’s a recap of the 7 tips from the video:
1. Realize you can’t change another person…
You can force, manipulate, coerce and brainwash… but not forever.
In the long-term, you can’t force lasting change onto anyone else.
Lasting change comes from within.
Trying to quickly force a change in another person will always blow up in your face. It elicits a defensive reaction and turns conversations into arguments in the blink of an eye.
But that doesn’t mean you are hopeless.
You can encourage change. You can model healthy change. You can communicate, listen, and evolve with those you love.
But the first step in the process is to realize you can’t change them.
2. Allow change to happen at its own pace…
Once you’ve realized that you can’t force or rush change, you learn that you have to allow it to occur at its own natural pace.
You’ve experienced circumstances and influences that have ignited an excitement or an urgency for change.
How selfish is it to expect that any other person immediately experience that same level passion? You are different people with different ways of processing influences in your environments!
You’ve got to respect your loved one’s internal timeframe for an organic build up of excitement.
That’s a fancy way of saying be patient.
I’m not telling you to wait forever. I’m not telling you to accept a lack of action or effort.
I’m simply suggesting that real excitement and passion only grows when there is room for it to happen naturally for each person involved.
Patience, young grasshopper. Patience.
3. Start with why this is important to you…
Whenever you approach your spouse or loved one, frame the entire discussion with why this change is important to you.
Not why this change is the right path.
Not why this change must be done.
Not what has been done wrong.
Not what some other person has done better.
Start with why this is important to you.
Reach deep down. Find the vulnerable, open, honest reasons why why you are excited and passionate about this change.
Most importantly, be optimistic. Be happy.
There is a time and place for recognizing and learning from errors. Moving away from a painful moment can be a big motivator in your journey.
But not now. This is not the time for that.
Start with optimism.
Start with why it’s important to you.
4. Seek their input…
After you state why it’s important to you, seek their input.
Ask them what’s important to them about the topic or part of your life you’ve just talked about.
Don’t ask them what they think about what you said. This is a formula for them to take the opposite side and defend.
Instead, ask them what’s important to them about ___________.
Then stop talking.
Don’t interrupt. Don’t risk breaking the flow.
Listen.
When they are done, this is often times a great place to end the initial conversation. There’s nothing wrong with a short discussion of what’s important and then some time away to think.
5. Leverage outside experiences and influences…
If I know one thing for sure, it’s that I’m terrible at having a Teacher/Student relationship with Courtney.
It’s probably a combination of my ego and my tendency to get offended when I recognize naivety in my own actions – but I simply don’t handle it well.
I can be taught by others. I do it all the time.
I love learning from a wide variety of sources… just as long as that source is NOT Courtney!
All joking aside, it’s extremely difficult for most of us to swallow instruction or correction from someone we are that close with. We want those people to respect us so deeply that we completely block the potential to learn and grow from their experiences.
A great way to avoid this conflict is to leverage outside influences to help:
Take a class together. Courtney and I did this at the beginning of our financial turnaround.
Watch a documentary or movie about that topic. This is our method of choice for many healthy eating and food-related issues.
Send them an article, post, or recording. “Honey, check out this article I loved on ___________.”
Allowing them to leverage external influences will often make it far easier for people to accept responsibility for the new change!
6. Lead by example…
Even with the tips and suggestion on this list, one conversation isn’t going to magically cure all your woes.
Remember, this takes time. Open, honest conversations will help go a long way to building that foundation, but you may still have some patience to practice as your loved ones build that excitement.
While they come around, you don’t have to be sitting by idling.
Lead by example.
Take action. Model the behavior and the baby steps toward change that you are so passionate about.
If it’s financial change you are after, start tracking your own spending. Get your hands on a couple great books on the topic. Enroll in a course or class and start your journey.
Don’t force feed your loved ones, but show them with ACTION that you are serious and committed.
Hearing your words is nice, but seeing you walk the walk can inspire in a way words can’t.
7. Make it a family routine…
Last, but certainty not least, get the whole family involved in this process.
Make it a game. Make it fun, quirky, and interesting.
One of the best ways to get a spouse on board is to encourage yourself to include the kids.
The best example from my own life is when Courtney and I work out. Often times we’ll follow videos like P90X or Insanity and we almost always have Milligan do them with us.
Obviously, she just jumps around and rolls on the floor (and sometimes gets in the way at the WORST possible times), but her effect on motivation is significant.
If Courtney casually says “Milli and I are going to do today’s P90X video…” I’m about 500 times more likely to jump in and do it with them. If Courtney just goes to do it herself, I’ll sometimes her myself justifying “Oh go ahead, I’ll do it later on at a more convenient time for me…”
Yeah, right. That ends up happening about 10% of the time.
The simple fact is I’m much more likely to participate when I know it’s a family activity we are doing together.
This works to help get older kids involved, as well.
If kids see that both parents are on board with a goal or mission, they are FAR more likely to have excitement for the activity or change.
Even Milligan is willing to give half of her toys to the garage sale if she sees that Mommy and Daddy are all putting their stuff in the sale, too.
YOUR CHALLENGE (DON’T SKIP THIS)…
You know I’ve been on a big action kick lately, and this post is no different.
These tips are useless, unless you take action to apply at least one of them in your life today.
At the end of the video, I challenged You Vs Debt members to…
Schedule a 20-minute block of time to have a conversation with a loved one in your life.
You Vs Debt member or not, I want YOU to do this exercise.
Here are your ground rules for this conversation:
100% Distraction Free – No screens are are allowed in a 10 foot radius. No televisions, cell phones, computers, etc… It’s only 20 minutes, you can do it.
Low stress and not tired – Ensure the conversation happens at a time that is low stress (unwind from work or business), but also when you aren’t tired (not right as you lay your head down at night).
Lead with WHY it’s important to you – Remember tip #3. Start the conversation with why it’s important to you and then LISTEN.
Never say “YOU” or “YOUR” – These two words are BANNED from the entire conversation. No exceptions.
Put this post to use in your life.
Schedule a 20-minute conversation for sometime this weekend.
Share your experience and tips below…
I’ve mapped out everything I’ve learned from talking with hundreds of people over the last few years, but I want YOUR experience as well.
Have you had success getting on board with a spouse or loved one recently?
How do you rally your loved ones?
Share your frustrations, experience, and/or tips below with others!…
Today is an exciting day for me. We’re one week out from the opening of my new You Vs Debt class – and to celebrate I’ve decided to share a few sample daily lessons and resources this week with you!
The first week of the six week You Vs Debt class is all about “Motivation & Mindset.”
As we talked about in my last post, this is an extremely important topic that many financial experts simply shy away from. We dig into the numbers of personal finance starting in Week 2, but not before we lay a foundation of excitement, passion, and commitment.
The key metaphor that guides us through this first week is that of The Rider, The Elephant, and The Path – a great construct laid out in the book Switch by Chip and Dan Heath.
Essentially they describe our emotional mind to be like a huge elephant – slow, deliberate, and powerful. Our logical mind is the rider on top tasked with constantly guiding the elephant through the jungle towards a desired destination.
How do most of us try to get this elephant through the jungle?
We force it. We grab the reigns and try to ram this beast straight through the shortest path possible!
We fight, we struggle… we tire, we sore, and finally… we exhaust.
“WILLPOWER!” We scream at the top of our lungs… but it’s no use. We simply can’t keep up the stamina to constantly overpower the elephant.
Is it any wonder most of us burn out when attempting to change a tough habit?
Willpower alone is not enough…
Instead of constantly exhausting ourselves trying to micromanage our journey, Chip and Dan Health suggest we:
Direct the rider – First, we need to give our logical minds clarity above all else. We need to know specifically what we are doing and where we are going. This helps us overcome the fear of uncertainty (a huge source of resistance in our logical brains) – and gives us the guidance to make small course corrections when needed.
Motivate the elephant – This is where so many of us fail. You shouldn’t be motivating the rider (what most of us try first) – you need to motivate the huge, powerful beast you’re riding! By switching your motivation to feed your emotional mind – you’ll ensure that the elephant wants to come along for the ride. You’ll no longer be caught in a constant power struggle – and won’t burn out nearly as quickly.
This subtle shift to motivate my emotional mind over my logical mind has completely changed the way I approach change in my life.
But the last part of Chip and Dan’s jungle metaphor may be the most important.
They remind us that you can also Shape The Path that the rider and the elephant take through the jungle. This means crafting a positive, supporting environment and removing any negative potholes, obstacles and predators in your way.
Shaping the path makes the journey easier on both parts of our minds. Our emotional mind can push forward without many hurdles – and our logical mind can make small adjustments if we begin to wander off the path at any point.
You Vs. Debt Sneak Peek…
And this is where we find ourselves on Day 4 of the You Vs. Debt class framework. Having just covered how to motivate our emotional minds and direct our logical minds, we’re ready to craft our environment to help support the journey.
Take a sneak peek at a sample lesson and challenge from Day 4:
Start by filling out your three levels of positive influences. Next, list the negative people and environments that are dragging you down.
After you are done share the following in the comments (if you are willing):
Share the #1 entity in your life that is dragging you down.
Share your #1 most empowering influence.
Sharing your answers in the comments below will help inspire others to take up the challenge!
Your financial life CAN change. And crafting your environment (or “shaping the path”) is an essential step in ensuring that this change will be long-term and sustainable.
I hope you enjoyed the sample lesson! To unlock another couple lessons just like it, be sure you are on the You Vs Debt Insider’s list by filling out the form below this post!
Understanding the numbers of your financial life is an important principle in helping you take back control. However, just studying the math of your situation has its limits.
Many financial experts choose to focus all their time and energy on tangible formulas, benchmarks, and percentage-based rules of thumb. In doing so, they completely ignore the most essential skills!
TRUTH: There are several skills far more important than just “knowing the numbers” of your situation.
TRUTH: You do not have to be good at math to break-free from the burden of a stress-filled financial life.
All these formulas and percentages are useful, but only when properly put in their place in the pecking order. Here are 3 skills you should focus on before getting a grasp on what the numbers of your situation are…
#1 – Developing A Blessed Attitude…
It may sound cliche, but in every successful turn-around I’ve seen or studied – a positive, blessed attitude was at the very core.
What the heck is a “blessed attitude,” you ask?
A blessed attitude is a life-long learned skill. It’s the ability to break-free of everyday ruts and negative attitude by constantly reminding yourself with all the reasons you are truly blessed.
A recent statistic I read stated that a far majority of the world (close to 70%) lives on less than $2.00 per day.
If you are reading this post, chances are you are already ahead of 95% of the world’s population in terms of possibility and freedom.
Don’t get me wrong here, this isn’t about the token hippie dude screaming “Just be positive and it’ll all be okay, man.” I don’t believe positive thinking alone manifests anything for you long-term.
However, I’m utterly convinced that a constant negative, entitled attitude will drag you down and keep you trapped.
It’s something that we all battle with on a daily basis (trust me, I’m in the same boat!).
If you let an attitude of entitlement win, you’ll complain, procrastinate, idle, blame, and wallow. We all do it, it’s our entitled attitude rearing its ugly head.
But if you defeat this negativity with a blessed attitude, you’ll thank, praise, hustle, capitalize, and plow forward.
Remember the last time you felt that blessed?
Like absolutely nothing could stop you?
I love that feeling, when I’m in those unstoppable moments.
My goal is to get to around 80% blessed / 20% entitled. I’m not sure I’m there yet, but I am convinced that this trait is far more important to turning long-term, lasting financial change than any formula.
[Your Challenge - 5 min]: Make a simple list of everything you’re thankful for. Don’t wait for Thanksgiving, do it right now.
Be honest with yourself. Don’t put answers just because “they should be on your list,” put the answers you really feel blessed to have in your life.
Now, stick it in a place you’ll regularly see. Maybe the bathroom mirror, next to your computer screen, or on the wall next to your bed.
Overcome any obstacle that blocks your turn around
Anything worth doing in life is worth doing with other people. And anytime you’re around another person, honest, humble communication will reward you every time.
As you may notice, a few of these benefits include learning how to negotiate. Let me tell you a little secret about that:
Negotiation is simply the convergence of Communication and Problem-Solving.
Some of you may view negotiating as a scary word or skill – it’s not. It’s simply what we call honest, humble communication when a problem needs to be solved.
We all negotiate and communicate every single day of our lives. It’s time we recognize The #1 biggest tip: stop trying to be right.
It’s part of our culture to enter into any type of communication, even casually, with the intent to be right, correct, or justified.
Master communicators that I have studied and learned from have one skill in common. They understand that the goal of the communication is not to be seen as the “one who is right.”
Even more importantly, most of the time being “right” will be counterproductive to the real goal of your communication in the first place!
Let me say that again. More often than not, you’ll have to sacrifice part of the real goal of your communication in order for others to view you as being right in the discussion or argument.
What’s more important to you – being right or being effective?
Most of the time you’ll be choosing one or the other. Choose wisely.
[Your Challenge - 20 min]: Pick one of the following three options for practicing and crafting the art of honest, humble communication.
Research and enroll in an affordable or free community college speech/communication class. There are options available in almost every community.
Research local Toastmasters club and attend one meeting. It’s scary at first, but one of the most rewarding leaps of faith I’ve ever made. Find local clubs in most communities here: http://www.toastmasters.org/
Visit a local flea market or weekend farmer’s market and enter friendly negotiations on several small items. Don’t buy a bunch of crap, but flea or farmer’s markets are great places to enter into friendly negotiations in small increments.
Further Reading: The 5 Love Languagesby Gary Chapman (trust me, it’s one of the best books on humble communication for anyone – even singles).
#3 – Studying Habit Change…
The longer I live, the more I realize the value of studying the basic principle of psychology and habit change.
Far too many people jump head first into a change, without even realizing what really motivates or drives them to lasting results.
“I’m never eating fast food again!”
“I’m going to workout every day!”
“I’m not spending any more money on entertainment/fun!”
We’ve all been in mindsets where we’ve shouted these proclamations from the rooftops! Unfortunately, most of us end up right back where we started after the initial honeymoon motivation burns out.
In order to stretch out this period – and fuel long-term, lasting change – we have to have a better understanding of what really motivates us. This comes in two parts:
What motivates us as humans.
What drives you personally.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that most people simply try to make habit change a logic problem. They think they can out educate, out learn, or out read their problems.
It’s not that easy, folks.
Lasting change requires much more than just additional information.
In their amazing book Switch, Chip and Dan Health map out the following key elements to change habits:
Directing your logical mind with clear, concrete directions
Motivating your emotional mind – the part most people leave out!
Shaping your environment to support and make your path to change easier
In other words, most of us totally ignore the fact that our emotional minds need to be fed, motivated, and inspired. And we rarely take steps to change our environment (a topic we’ll dive into much deeper in the next video post).
It’s not just about logic, people. It’s a multi-headed beast that requires efforts on multiple fronts.
But the great news is that it’s doable. By studying some of these basic elements of habit change and psychology you can drastically increase the chance of your change sticking.
[Your Challenge - 10 min]: Think back to the last time you successfully changed a habit (and it stuck). We’ve all made positive habit changes in our past. Make a list of the TOP 3 reasons you believe you were able to stick to that change.
Be detailed and specific. Why were you able to make this change stick? What was different about that time than other attempts to change habits in your life?
This could be a long list, but I want you to focus on picking out your top 3 core reasons why you were so successful. Do it!
***** The approach to tackling financial issues that I’ve outlined in this post is really important to me. I believe it’s so essential that I’ve created an entire course around the principle that taking back control of your financial life is about more than just knowing the numbers.
We talk numbers and formulas just like anyone else, but the difference is we choose to focus the bulk of our time and energy on mindset, environment, motivation, psychology, and community support from like-minded members.
These are the oft-ignored principles that lead to long-term, lasting change!
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing a bit more of my core philosophy – as well as some sample video lessons, worksheets, and daily challenges. I know you’ll be super impressed at what we’ve put together.
If you want to see a sneak peek of these sample lessons and content before anyone else – enter your email below (don’t worry, it’s free). I’ll also send you a couple advanced pieces of the course that I won’t be sharing publicly! Whoo-hoo!
For the last two and a half years, I’ve been sharing our story and message online in an attempt to grow the amazing community here at Man Vs. Debt.
By taking a stroll through the archives, you can see just how much we’ve been through together. (Hasn’t it been fun?)
Reflecting back, there’s been 4 clear phases of our journey – or chapters, if you will:
Chapter 1: The Struggle (the months in the trenches – selling stuff & plowing debt)
Chapter 2: Freedom Realized (our time spent traveling Australia, New Zealand, and Thailand)
Chapter 3: Return of the Family (coming back to U.S. – launchingSell Your Crap)
Chapter 4: Life is a Highway (our RV Tour around the U.S.)
And, I’m excited to announce that last month we entered in to the newest chapter of our person lives – Chapter 5: Mountains & Music.
In other words, Courtney and I decided to wind down the R.V. tour and we’ve rented a home here in the beautiful city of Asheville, NC for the next year.
There were dozens of factors that played into our decision. Some of the major ones were:
Our primary personal goal of the entire RV tour was to scout places we’d like to spend a year or two. In our 6 months on the road we became comfortable with a couple places even sooner than we thought! (Portland and Asheville, for those wondering)
While I love so many aspects of traveling, I’ve realized that hosting friends and family is engrained deep into my personality. Courtney and I wanted to spend some time returning a portion of the hospitality we’ve received all over the world.
Our business and message won’t be able to spread and grow in the manner we want if we stay on the road. I’ve been leveraging coffee shops, intermittent wifi connections, and picnic tables for two years. The next evolution of the business requires some more stable working space.
A couple friends have asked me whether or not this decision was made as a result of our miscarriage on the road. The answer is: Yes & No.
No, it’s not a direct response – we were already on this path. Honestly, it didn’t really factor in the decision much itself.
Yes, if only for the reason that it was a catalyst for self-reflection.
When Courtney and I were starting off our journey, it was bringing Milligan home from the hospital in the days after her birth that opened our eyes. We didn’t start traveling just because Milligan was born. However, the experience granted us the clarity to see the life the we really wanted to be living.
The same is true this time around. Our loss simply gave us the clarity to step back from the day-to-day hustle and the clarity to see what we really wanted for the next year or two of our life. In this case, it was choosing between Portland and Asheville to settle in for a year.
Once you’ve been given the vision of what you’re life could be – and you know you want it – why wait?
What good is all the freedom in the world, if you aren’t willing to use it?
Two years ago, freedom was traveling the world with our one-year-old daughter.
A year ago, freedom was buying an RV in cash so that we could visit all our friends and explore potential areas of the U.S. to spend time in.
Last month, freedom was the ability to move into a (slightly bigger than we need, but great) home here in a wooded area of Asheville.
Next year, I have no idea what freedom will mean to us. But I’m excited to know our possibilities are nearly limitless – as long as we can gain the clarity to be honest with ourselves.
The clarity to know what freedom means to you may be the most powerful currency in the world.
*****
What’s next for Man Vs. Debt?
To be honest, in the first 6 months of 2011 I’ve been disappointed in my commitment to the community here.
I underestimated the hectic nature of our mobile lifestyle, which led me to underdeliver over the last few months. I haven’t been producing the amazing content that I’m capable of. I’ve been giving my C-game, instead of my A-game.
I’ve been mediocre, which for this community is simply unacceptable. You deserve better!
So I’ve done the only thing I know how to do. I’ve taken massive action to break free of the funk of mediocrity.
For the last two months, I’ve been buried working on several exciting changes:
First, I’ve hired two full-time team members to help me take things to the next level. I’ll introduce Sarah and Dustin to you soon (in addition to several other part-time team members). Working with this new team here in Asheville has been amazing. We are starting to realize how much is possible (it’s exciting!).
We’re also going to be switching the content direction of the site. Instead of leading with personal updates “hey look at me I’m in XYZ city,” we’re going to be leading with amazing resources and content. Specifically, we are going to start a weekly video Q&A series. We’ll also be focusing on covering more case studies from real people going through similar struggle in achieving freedom in different areas of their lives.
Lastly, I’ve been pouring myself into the next evolution of our premium products. After studying behavior change and psychology for nearly 2 months without coming up for air, we’ve completely revamped our You Vs. Debt course. We broke the course down into daily lessons and actions for 6 weeks straight. I spent two weeks filming the new videos with a dedicated video editing team (think DVD quality). This is the largest scale project I’ve ever undertaken – but the final product is *amazing* (take that mediocrity)! I can’t wait for you to see it – and in the next few days I’ll give you a peek.
Here’s the summary: Over the next month you’ll see a lot of changes around the site. We’ll be rereleasing You Vs. Debt (Sept. 19th), and we’ll be launching the first site redesign in several years. We’ll also be starting our weekly Q&A video series & a string of case studies and interviews of community members achieving inspiring results.
Most importantly, Courtney and I are extremely happy to be entering Chapter 5 of our journey.
And if you ever find yourself in Asheville, NC – be sure to email me! The city is full of great music, fantastic food, and I know a young family with a guest room in their rental home.
