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	<title>Man Vs. Debt &#187; Rants</title>
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	<link>http://manvsdebt.com</link>
	<description>Sell your crap.  Pay off your debt.  Do what you love.</description>
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	<itunes:summary>Sell your crap.  Pay off your debt.  Do what you love.</itunes:summary>
	<itunes:author>Man Vs. Debt</itunes:author>
	<itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:image href="http://manvsdebt.com/wp-content/plugins/powerpress/itunes_default.jpg" />
	<itunes:subtitle>Sell your crap.  Pay off your debt.  Do what you love.</itunes:subtitle>
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		<title>Man Vs. Debt &#187; Rants</title>
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		<link>http://manvsdebt.com/category/rants/</link>
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		<item>
		<title>I&#8217;m Not Qualified For Any of This&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://manvsdebt.com/not-qualified/</link>
		<comments>http://manvsdebt.com/not-qualified/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Jan 2012 20:54:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Baker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Do What You Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rants]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://manvsdebt.com/?p=6938</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Several months ago, Chris Guillebeau wrote a post on his blog called Qualifications. It was one of the greatest blog posts I&#8217;ve ever read. It still is. For months I&#8217;ve had it bookmarked. I must&#8217;ve read it close to thirty times by now. (As you can tell, I strongly recommend you check out the original post!) At [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://manvsdebt.com/not-qualified"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-6943" title="Hurdles" src="http://manvsdebt.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Hurdles.jpg" alt="" width="625" height="417" /></a></p>

<p>Several months ago, Chris Guillebeau wrote a post on his blog called <a href="http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/qualifications/">Qualifications</a>.</p>
<p><strong>It was one of the greatest blog posts I&#8217;ve ever read.</strong> It still is.</p>
<p>For months I&#8217;ve had it bookmarked. I must&#8217;ve read it close to thirty times by now.</p>
<p>(As you can tell, I strongly recommend you check out the original post!)</p>
<p>At first, I couldn&#8217;t identify what I loved so much about these words.</p>
<p>But then it hit me. Chris&#8217; post was <em>my</em> life.</p>
<p>Sure some of the details were different. Some of the events, names, and places would need to be renamed. But the result was the exact same.</p>
<p>Like Chris pointed out,<strong> I&#8217;m not qualified for almost anything I&#8217;m currently doing today.</strong></p>
<p>In fact, as I write this, I&#8217;ve been in Ohio for the past week with a team of 4 planning a documentary.</p>
<p><strong>That&#8217;s right, <em>we&#8217;re filming a movie.</em></strong></p>
<p>Why?</p>
<p>Because I want to. Because I feel compelled to. Because it&#8217;s an important message and video is the best medium to share it with the world.</p>
<p><strong>What background do I have in film?</strong></p>
<p>You guessed it&#8230; none.</p>
<p>Actually, less than none.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve never shot a single frame of video footage on anything outside of my flip cam. I&#8217;ve never budgeted a movie. I&#8217;ve never been trained in storytelling, cinematics, lighting, sound, or art.</p>
<p><strong>I may be the most unqualified person on the planet to help spearhead a documentary film.</strong></p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>But before starting this blog, I&#8217;d never written a single day in my life that wasn&#8217;t for a <em>forced</em>. (Think high school book report writing.)</p>
<p>I didn&#8217;t journal. I didn&#8217;t write for fun. I still to this day don&#8217;t enjoy the craft of writing. I&#8217;m jealous of people who do.</p>
<p>Before selling my first book through this community, I&#8217;d never produced anything and sold it.</p>
<p>I&#8217;d never been paid for my thoughts. I&#8217;d never published anything in exchange for someone else&#8217;s hard-earned money.</p>
<p>Before recording my first few videos online, I&#8217;d never publicly spoke before. I filmed it in terribly lighting, in my bedroom, with an unmade bed in the background. I didn&#8217;t know any different.</p>
<p><strong>I don&#8217;t have a C.P.A. or a C.F.P. after my name &#8211; and I never ever will.</strong></p>
<p>I&#8217;m not even close to &#8220;qualified&#8221; to provide financial advice. Courtney and I still have student loans. We still make plenty of mistakes in our relationship with money and business.</p>
<p>Despite all this, my writing has helped contribute to thousands of people paying off millions in debt.</p>
<p>Despite all this, I&#8217;ve given speeches that people later claim have changed their lives (still boggles my mind).</p>
<p>Despite all this, over the next 6 months, I&#8217;m producing a feature-length documentary.</p>
<p><strong>Has it all been pretty?</strong></p>
<p>Haha, of course not. Long-time readers know that! <img src='http://manvsdebt.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been very fortunate, had great timing, and worked insanely hard.</p>
<p><strong>But most importantly, I&#8217;ve learned that three things matter far more than &#8220;qualifications&#8221;:</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>The knowledge that said qualifications are worthless.</li>
<li>The support of close family, mentors, and friends.</li>
<li>The willingness to take action in the face of fear.</li>
</ol>
<p>For me, the willingness to take action has been far more valuable than any letters I could have added to the end of my name.</p>
<p><em><strong>Is it scary sometimes?</strong></em></p>
<p>You bet, part of me is terrified right now.</p>
<p>But Eleanor Roosevelt said it best&#8230;</p>
<p><strong>&#8220;Do one thing every day that scares you.&#8221;</strong></p>
<p>Eleanor would be proud of the last few weeks of my life. <img src='http://manvsdebt.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>Sometimes I think the only reason many people have &#8220;real qualifications&#8221; is that they were too scared to do anything else.</p>
<p>Stop putting off your life until you&#8217;re more qualified.</p>
<p><strong>Anything in life worth doing, you won&#8217;t be qualified for when you start.</strong></p>
<p>Thanks, Chris, for the <a href="http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/qualifications/">constant reminder</a>&#8230;</p>
<p>Xoxoxo,</p>
<p><strong>-Baker</strong></p>

<p>*****</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>25</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Scarcity Mindset&#8230; Beneficial or Poisonous?</title>
		<link>http://manvsdebt.com/scarcity-mindset/</link>
		<comments>http://manvsdebt.com/scarcity-mindset/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jan 2012 17:10:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Baker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Do What You Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Give Back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Money Basics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pay Off Your Debt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rants]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://manvsdebt.com/?p=6835</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[  Our instincts as animals constantly push us to embrace a scarcity mindset. Do you know what I mean when I say &#8220;scarcity mindset&#8221;? It&#8217;s the belief that &#8220;there&#8217;s not enough to go around.&#8221; That you need to protect, maintain, guard, defend, or hoard. It&#8217;s basic survival-of-the-fittest. It starts with a spark in our brains [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://manvsdebt.com/scarcity-mindset"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-6837" title="ScarcityMindest" src="http://manvsdebt.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/ScarcityMindest.jpg" alt="" width="625" height="415" /></a></p>

<p><strong>Our instincts as animals constantly push us to embrace a scarcity mindset.</strong></p>
<p>Do you know what I mean when I say &#8220;scarcity mindset&#8221;?</p>
<p>It&#8217;s the belief that &#8220;there&#8217;s not enough to go around.&#8221; That you need to protect, maintain, guard, defend, or hoard.</p>
<p><strong>It&#8217;s basic survival-of-the-fittest.</strong></p>
<p><span id="more-6835"></span></p>
<p>It starts with a spark in our brains and then manifests itself in our attitudes and actions.</p>
<p>In its most dangerous form, the scarcity mindset can be the default way most of us deal with any situation that enters our life. Good or bad, we immediately turn to how it affects the limited supply of what we have.</p>
<p>Obviously, this isn&#8217;t a new discussion. People have been talking about Abundance vs. Scarcity for far longer than I&#8217;ve been on this planet. But I&#8217;ve been spending a lot of time thinking about it recently, as it&#8217;s starting to reveal itself as an issue in my own life.</p>
<p><strong>3 years ago, we had an incredibly powerful scarcity mindset in our financial lives.</strong></p>
<p>And, to be honest, I believe our scarcity mindset was an asset at this point in our lives. We needed it. We had been living unsustainably for a couple years and needed to ruthlessly focus on what we had, what was left, and where EXACTLY to put that extra money.</p>
<p>By leveraging this survival-of-the-fittest mindset we made some incredible strides in taking back control of our money.</p>
<p><strong>But too much of the scarcity mindset can be poisonous.</strong></p>
<p>Focusing through this &#8220;lens&#8221; for too long or too hard will cause you to become reaction-based, scared, stressed, and selfish.</p>
<p>Luckily for us, our travels throughout the world and my induction into this amazing blogging world helped radically jolt my perspective in this area. Slowly, but surely I began to realize that this isn&#8217;t a &#8220;zero-sum game.&#8221;</p>
<p>My eyes were opened to the possibilities that existed if I could (as my friend Chris Guillebeau says) increase the size of the pie for everyone.</p>
<p>No longer was there a limited supply of resources. No longer was there a fixed amount of income I could generate. No longer was there a fixed potential for what we could accomplish financially in our lifetime.</p>
<p><strong>This was an extremely freeing time for us.</strong></p>
<p>But I&#8217;ve realized that an abundance mindset is only really possible (and beneficial) when you actually have the breathing room t0 let it grow.</p>
<p>Let me use an example now. As our business has grown, I&#8217;ve picked up a couple team members. With these team members a vital part of this community and my business now &#8211; a positive thing &#8211; my overheard, expectations, and pressure to perform have all gone up exponentially as well.</p>
<p>This added pressure has generated stress, tightened our breathing room, and made things in general less flexible from a purely financial standpoint. As soon as we began to feel this restriction, our scarcity mindset began to creep back in.</p>
<p>Now, let me point out that intellectually I know this is part of growing any mission in the world. To grow, this is a necessary step along the way.</p>
<p><strong>So the question is&#8230; how do you keep a mindset of abundance when times are financially tighter than others?</strong></p>
<p>A scarcity mindset, within reason, can help us ensure we keep our focus. It can help us budget, plan, and forecast so we don&#8217;t implode by stepping on a financial landmine in the future. It can help us allocate our resources in the best way possible.</p>
<p>All of that is fantastic.</p>
<p>But in business, just like in life, we  can&#8217;t completely lose sight of the abundance mindset that has made this incredible journey possible.</p>
<p><em>Can we?</em></p>
<p>I can&#8217;t confidently tell you I&#8217;ve found the balance, but at least we are aware of the issue. We&#8217;re still exploring.</p>
<p><strong>When a scarcity mindset can help (based on my own life):</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>When you first wake up (in life), leveraging a scarcity mindset to rapidly get yourself breathing room is extremely powerful. This is the basis of the passionate &#8220;war on debt&#8221; and  battle against clutter we always talk about.</li>
<li>Once you have sustainable breathing room, it&#8217;s important you don&#8217;t let the scarcity mindset poison your attitude and outlook. Focus on finding work you love or a mission you care about. This is the best way I know to show you just how abundant the possibilities really are.</li>
<li>When you come across a growing pain or downswing, don&#8217;t immediately revert back to the scarcity mindset. Be conscious. Evaluate. Slow down.</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Most importantly, just be conscious of this dynamic. </strong>Be able to enter into and out of these mindsets as you need them.</p>
<p>The scarcity mindset gets an incredibly bad rap from many people. But I know firsthand how powerful it can be in giving you that breathing room to make other dramatic life changes possible.</p>
<h2><strong>Are you stuck in a scarcity mindset right?</strong></h2>
<p>I&#8217;m interested on your own thoughts and experiences in this arena.</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Do you feel at times you&#8217;re stuck in a &#8220;there&#8217;s not enough to go around&#8221; mindset?</strong></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong>Do you feel like it&#8217;s ever been beneficial in your life?</strong></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong>How do you keep from snapping back into it whenever adversity pops back into your life?</strong></li>
</ul>
<p>Whether you share your answers or not, you need to answer these questions in your own life.</p>

<p>I thought I had this figured out, but maybe not. I&#8217;ll keep you updated! <img src='http://manvsdebt.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p><strong>Xoxoxo,</strong></p>
<p><strong>-Baker</strong></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>17</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://manvsdebt.com/steve-jobs/</link>
		<comments>http://manvsdebt.com/steve-jobs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 06 Oct 2011 15:24:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Baker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Do What You Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Give Back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rants]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Videos]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://manvsdebt.com/?p=6683</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Laura, did you hear about Steve Jobs?&#8221; &#8220;Yeah, I can&#8217;t believe it. I&#8217;m surprised at how sad I am really. It sucks.&#8221; &#8220;Me too. It feels like my favorite musician died, you know? I feel a weird connection&#8230;&#8221; ***** I was surprised last night to hear Steve Jobs passed away. As I watched the tweets [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://manvsdebt.com/steve-jobs"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-6684" title="Steve Jobs" src="http://manvsdebt.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/stevejobs.jpg" alt="" width="625" height="417" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong><em>&#8220;Laura, did you hear about Steve Jobs?&#8221;</em></strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><em>&#8220;Yeah, I can&#8217;t believe it. I&#8217;m surprised at how sad I am really. It sucks.&#8221;</em></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong><em>&#8220;Me too. It feels like my favorite musician died, you know? I feel a weird connection&#8230;&#8221;</em></strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">*****</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">I was surprised last night to hear Steve Jobs passed away.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">As I watched the tweets pour in, this is what I came away with:</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://twitter.com/manvsdebt"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-6686" title="SteveJobsTweet" src="http://manvsdebt.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/SteveJobsTweet.jpg" alt="" width="572" height="249" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Seriously, when&#8217;s the last time we cared this much about the leader of a billion dollar company?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">People around the U.S. are getting together and protesting greed, excess, and bloated corporations as we speak&#8230; yet we celebrate this man who ran one of the largest, most powerful brands we&#8217;ve ever seen.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>What did he do so different?</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">The answer may be in a video tweeted out by Richard Branson last night. It&#8217;s a 1997 Apple commercial narrated by Steve Jobs himself:</p>
<p><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/8rwsuXHA7RA?rel=0" frameborder="0" width="625" height="454"></iframe></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Or maybe the answer can be hidden in what I consider one of the most motivating videos on the internet (Steve&#8217;s commencement speech at Stanford):</p>
<p><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/UF8uR6Z6KLc?rel=0" frameborder="0" width="625" height="454"></iframe></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>Or maybe we can find the answer in this simple quote:</strong></p>
<blockquote>
<p style="text-align: left;">&#8220;Being the richest man in the cemetary doesn&#8217;t matter to me&#8230; Going to bed at night saying we&#8217;ve done something wonderful&#8230; that&#8217;s what matters to me.&#8221; <strong>-Steve Jobs</strong> (WSJ 1993)</p>
</blockquote>
<p style="text-align: left;">Steve Jobs inspired millions to change the world.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>In honor of Steve, here are my two new life goals:</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>I will help one million people get out of debt.</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>I will raise one billion dollars for charity.</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Over the last three years, I can point to at least 100 emails of people who&#8217;ve claimed we&#8217;ve helped them in whole or part get completely out of debt. I will record the names of each person, all the way to one million.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">I&#8217;ve also helped raise $45,500 for charity so far through this blog and other online avenues. Before I&#8217;m done this will be $1,000,000,000.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world&#8230; </strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong></strong><strong>Are the ones who do.</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><em>How will you change the world?</em></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>*****</strong></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>61</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>7 Tips to Rally Your Spouse &amp; Loved Ones Around Your Change!</title>
		<link>http://manvsdebt.com/7-tips-to-rally-spouse-and-loved-ones/</link>
		<comments>http://manvsdebt.com/7-tips-to-rally-spouse-and-loved-ones/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Sep 2011 16:24:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Baker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Do What You Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Money Basics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pay Off Your Debt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rants]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Videos]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://manvsdebt.com/?p=6539</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Note: Let me know what you think of the video above! It&#8217;s a sample daily video (Day 5) from the new 6-week You Vs Debt class that opens early next week! There are hundreds of factors that weigh into the success of a change. But time and time again, I&#8217;m convinced that one single factor [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p><iframe width="625" height="378" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/vvBGdeb_K6s?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
</p>
<p><em><strong>Note:</strong> Let me know what you think of the video above! It&#8217;s a sample daily video (Day 5) from the new 6-week <a href="http://youvsdebt.com">You Vs Debt class</a> that opens early next week!</em></p>
<p><strong>There are hundreds of factors that weigh into the success of a change.</strong></p>
<p>But time and time again, I&#8217;m convinced that one single factor outweighs all the others:</p>
<p><strong>The support and excitement of a respected loved one!</strong></p>
<p>I know for sure that the financial changes I&#8217;ve made, the growth of this community, or any of the strides I&#8217;ve made in person freedom and creativity wouldn&#8217;t have been possible without the support and excitement of Courtney.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s really that simple.</p>
<p><strong>Courtney&#8217;s support has been the #1 factor in every positive change I&#8217;ve made in the last 5 years.</strong></p>
<p>Now, don&#8217;t let me paint you a rose-colored picture here. Most times we <em>don&#8217;t</em> start on the same page. Many times <em>getting</em> to the same page isn&#8217;t the prettiest in the world. We are far, far away from being the perfect family or couple.</p>
<p><strong>But we have found a way to prioritize being on each others&#8217; bandwagon.</strong></p>
<p>If Courtney believes deeply in something (and I&#8217;m aware enough to know that), I try to do my best to be her #1 supporter and fan. It may not happen overnight, but we are well aware of how important this support is in our lives!</p>
<h2>But I know from experience that things don&#8217;t always go smoothly&#8230;</h2>
<p>In addition to learning from our own mistakes, I&#8217;ve heard from hundreds and hundreds of readers of the last few years with similar hiccups.</p>
<p><strong>Sometimes our own excitement and values can be so far apart from our loved ones that we can feel completely alone.</strong></p>
<p>But that&#8217;s rarely the actual case. And in these vulnerable moments many times we can find ourselves scapegoating our loved ones:</p>
<p><em>&#8220;I&#8217;m ready for change, but my husband just won&#8217;t help me out&#8230;&#8221;</em></p>
<p><em>&#8220;We&#8217;d turn around our finances, but with three young kids in school we just have too much responsibility to do ____________.&#8221;</em></p>
<p><em>&#8220;My friends don&#8217;t get it&#8230;&#8221;</em></p>
<p>Some or all of these statements may be true in your life.</p>
<p><strong>But it&#8217;s my experience that it&#8217;s easy to blame others than realize just how much control we DO have in our own lives.</strong></p>
<p>I read a quote &#8211; or truth of sorts &#8211; a couple years ago and it stuck with me.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>&#8220;The meaning of any communication is the response it elicits.&#8221;</strong></p>
<p>I love this way of thinking, because it returns the responsibility for results back onto me. If Courtney doesn&#8217;t give me the response or support I&#8217;m looking for, it&#8217;s very likely a result of poor communication on my part.</p>
<p>This may not be true ALL of the time, but it&#8217;s definitely been true MOST of the time for me.</p>
<p><strong>With this paradigm in mind, here&#8217;s a recap of the 7 tips from the video:</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-6557" src="http://manvsdebt.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Family.jpg" alt="" width="594" height="396" /></p>
<h2>1. Realize you can&#8217;t <em>change</em> another person&#8230;</h2>
<p>You can force, manipulate, coerce and brainwash&#8230; but not forever.</p>
<p>In the long-term, you can&#8217;t force lasting change onto anyone else.</p>
<p><strong>Lasting change comes from within.</strong></p>
<p>Trying to quickly force a change in another person will always blow up in your face. It elicits a defensive reaction and turns conversations into arguments in the blink of an eye.</p>
<p>But that doesn&#8217;t mean you are hopeless.</p>
<p>You <em>can</em> encourage change. You <em>can</em> model healthy change. You <em>can</em> communicate, listen, and evolve with those you love.</p>
<p>But the first step in the process is to realize you <em>can&#8217;t</em> change them.</p>
<h2>2. Allow change to happen at its own pace&#8230;</h2>
<p>Once you&#8217;ve realized that you can&#8217;t force or rush change, you learn that you have to allow it to occur at its own natural pace.</p>
<p>You&#8217;ve experienced circumstances and influences that have ignited an excitement or an urgency for change.</p>
<p>How selfish is it to expect that any other person immediately experience that same level passion? You are different people with different ways of processing influences in your environments!</p>
<p><strong>You&#8217;ve got to respect your loved one&#8217;s internal timeframe for an organic build up of excitement.</strong></p>
<p><em>That&#8217;s a fancy way of saying be patient.</em></p>
<p>I&#8217;m not telling you to wait forever. I&#8217;m not telling you to accept a lack of action or effort.</p>
<p><strong>I&#8217;m simply suggesting that real excitement and passion only grows when there is room for it to happen naturally for each person involved.</strong></p>
<p>Patience, young grasshopper. Patience.</p>
<h2>3. Start with why this is important to you&#8230;</h2>
<p>Whenever you approach your spouse or loved one, frame the entire discussion with why this change is important to you.</p>
<p>Not why this change is the right path.</p>
<p>Not why this change must be done.</p>
<p>Not what has been done wrong.</p>
<p>Not what some other person has done better.</p>
<p><strong>Start with why this is important to you.</strong></p>
<p>Reach deep down. Find the vulnerable, open, honest reasons why <em>why</em> you are excited and passionate about this change.</p>
<p><strong>Most importantly, be optimistic. Be happy.</strong></p>
<p>There is a time and place for recognizing and learning from errors. Moving away from a painful moment can be a big motivator in your journey.</p>
<p>But not now. This is not the time for that.</p>
<p><strong>Start with optimism. </strong></p>
<p>Start with why it&#8217;s important to you.</p>
<h2>4. Seek their input&#8230;</h2>
<p>After you state why it&#8217;s important to you, seek their input.</p>
<p>Ask them what&#8217;s important to them about the topic or part of your life you&#8217;ve just talked about.</p>
<p><strong>Don&#8217;t ask them what they think about what you said. </strong>This is a formula for them to take the opposite side and defend.</p>
<p>Instead, ask them what&#8217;s important to them about ___________.</p>
<p><strong>Then stop talking.</strong></p>
<p>Don&#8217;t interrupt. Don&#8217;t risk breaking the flow.</p>
<p><strong>Listen.</strong></p>
<p>When they are done, this is often times a great place to end the initial conversation. There&#8217;s nothing wrong with a short discussion of what&#8217;s important and then some time away to think.</p>
<h2>5. Leverage outside experiences and influences&#8230;</h2>
<p>If I know one thing for sure, it&#8217;s that I&#8217;m terrible at having a Teacher/Student relationship with Courtney.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s probably a combination of my ego and my tendency to get offended when I recognize naivety in my own actions &#8211; but I simply don&#8217;t handle it well.</p>
<p>I can be taught by others. I do it all the time.</p>
<p><strong>I love learning from a wide variety of sources&#8230;  just as long as that source is NOT Courtney!</strong></p>
<p>All joking aside, it&#8217;s extremely difficult for most of us to swallow instruction or correction from someone we are <em>that</em> close with. We want those people to respect us so deeply that we completely block the potential to learn and grow from their experiences.</p>
<p>A great way to avoid this conflict is to leverage outside influences to help:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Take a class together.</strong> Courtney and I did this at the beginning of our financial turnaround.</li>
<li><strong>Watch a documentary or movie about that topic.</strong> This is our method of choice for many healthy eating and food-related issues.</li>
<li><strong>Send them an article, post, or recording. </strong>&#8220;Honey, check out this article I loved on ___________.&#8221;</li>
</ul>
<p>Allowing them to leverage external influences will often make it far easier for people to accept responsibility for the new change!</p>
<h2>6. Lead by example&#8230;</h2>
<p>Even with the tips and suggestion on this list, one conversation isn&#8217;t going to magically cure all your woes.</p>
<p>Remember, this takes time. Open, honest conversations will help go a long way to building that foundation, but you may still have some patience to practice as your loved ones build that excitement.</p>
<p>While they come around, you don&#8217;t have to be sitting by idling.</p>
<p><strong>Lead by example.</strong></p>
<p>Take action. Model the behavior and the baby steps toward change that you are so passionate about.</p>
<p>If it&#8217;s financial change you are after, start tracking your own spending. Get your hands on a couple great books on the topic. Enroll in a course or class and start your journey.</p>
<p>Don&#8217;t force feed your loved ones, but show them with ACTION that you are serious and committed.</p>
<p>Hearing your words is nice, but seeing you walk the walk can inspire in a way words can&#8217;t.</p>
<h2>7. Make it a family routine&#8230;</h2>
<p>Last, but certainty not least, get the whole family involved in this process.</p>
<p>Make it a game. Make it fun, quirky, and interesting.</p>
<p><strong>One of the best ways to get a spouse on board is to encourage yourself to include the kids.</strong></p>
<p>The best example from my own life is when Courtney and I work out. Often times we&#8217;ll follow videos like P90X or Insanity and we almost always have Milligan do them with us.</p>
<p>Obviously, she just jumps around and rolls on the floor (and sometimes gets in the way at the WORST possible times), but her effect on motivation is significant.</p>
<p>If Courtney casually says &#8220;Milli and I are going to do today&#8217;s P90X video&#8230;&#8221; I&#8217;m about 500 times more likely to jump in and do it with them. If Courtney just goes to do it herself, I&#8217;ll sometimes her myself justifying &#8220;Oh go ahead, I&#8217;ll do it later on at a more convenient time for me&#8230;&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Yeah, right. That ends up happening about 10% of the time.</strong></p>
<p>The simple fact is I&#8217;m much more likely to participate when I know it&#8217;s a family activity we are doing together.</p>
<p>This works to help get older kids involved, as well.</p>
<p>If kids see that both parents are on board with a goal or mission, they are FAR more likely to have excitement for the activity or change.</p>
<p>Even Milligan is willing to give half of her toys to the garage sale if she sees that Mommy and Daddy are all putting their stuff in the sale, too.</p>
<h2>YOUR CHALLENGE (DON&#8217;T SKIP THIS)&#8230;</h2>
<p>You know I&#8217;ve been on a big action kick lately, and this post is no different.</p>
<p>These tips are useless, unless you take action to apply at least one of them in your life today.</p>
<p>At the end of the video, I challenged <a href="http://youvsdebt.com">You Vs Debt</a> members to&#8230;</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Schedule a 20-minute block of time to have a conversation with a loved one in your life.</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://youvsdebt.com">You Vs Debt</a> member or not, I want YOU to do this exercise.</p>
<p><strong>Here are your ground rules for this conversation:</strong></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>100% Distraction Free &#8211; </strong>No screens are are allowed in a 10 foot radius. No televisions, cell phones, computers, etc&#8230; It&#8217;s only 20 minutes, you can do it.</li>
<li><strong>Low stress and not tired &#8211; </strong>Ensure the conversation happens at a time that is low stress (unwind from work or business), but also when you aren&#8217;t tired (not right as you lay your head down at night).</li>
<li><strong>Lead with WHY it&#8217;s important to you &#8211; </strong>Remember tip #3. Start the conversation with why it&#8217;s important to you and then LISTEN.</li>
<li><strong>Never say &#8220;YOU&#8221; or &#8220;YOUR&#8221; &#8211; </strong>These two words are BANNED from the entire conversation. No exceptions.</li>
</ol>
<p>Put this post to use in your life.</p>
<p>Schedule a 20-minute conversation for sometime this weekend.</p>
<p><script type="text/javascript" src="https://gco86782.infusionsoft.com/app/form/iframe/3cda80dda373ac9971f3de951f0e7f44"></script></p>
<h2>Share your experience and tips below&#8230;</h2>
<p>I&#8217;ve mapped out everything I&#8217;ve learned from talking with hundreds of people over the last few years, but I want YOUR experience as well.</p>
<p><strong>Have you had success getting on board with a spouse or loved one recently?</strong></p>
<p><strong>How do you rally your loved ones?</strong></p>
<p>Share your frustrations, experience, and/or tips below with others!&#8230;</p>

<p>*****</p>
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		<title>What Can We Learn From The Debt Ceiling Debacle?</title>
		<link>http://manvsdebt.com/what-can-we-learn-from-the-debt-ceiling-debacle/</link>
		<comments>http://manvsdebt.com/what-can-we-learn-from-the-debt-ceiling-debacle/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Aug 2011 15:11:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Baker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Money Basics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pay Off Your Debt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rants]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://manvsdebt.com/?p=6401</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Debt Ceiling. It&#8217;s been around for almost 100 years now, but few of us really knew much about it before the last three months or so. Originally created so that Congress didn&#8217;t have to approve every individual expense of World War I, it&#8217;s now turned into an extremely polarizing and extremely dangerous piece in [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p>
<div id="attachment_6405" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 600px">
	<a href="http://imgur.com/ZGmZc"><img class="size-full wp-image-6405 " title="Debt Ceiling Debacle" src="http://manvsdebt.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/DebtCeiling.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="420" /></a>
	<p class="wp-caption-text">First viewed this awesome cartoon on Reddit.</p>
</div>
<p><strong>The Debt Ceiling.</strong></p>
<p>It&#8217;s been around for almost 100 years now, but few of us really knew much about it before the last three months or so.</p>
<p>Originally created so that Congress didn&#8217;t have to approve every individual expense of World War I, it&#8217;s now turned into an extremely polarizing and extremely dangerous piece in the United States&#8217; financial puzzle.</p>
<p>[<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_debt-ceiling_crisis">Read more about the debt ceiling's origins and history on Wikipedia</a>]</p>
<p><strong>Here&#8217;s the bottom line:</strong> The United States is financially screwed if we don&#8217;t make drastic changes in the next five to ten years.</p>
<p>I haven&#8217;t met very many people who disagree with that fact. For decades we&#8217;ve been &#8220;letting ourself go&#8221; financially. We&#8217;ve been pushing the problems onto the next Congress, onto the next President, and onto the next Generation.</p>
<p>One of the best resources &#8211; of any type &#8211; that I&#8217;ve seen in the past few months is this video:</p>
<p><object width="625" height="381" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Jjv-MtGpj2U?version=3&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed width="625" height="381" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Jjv-MtGpj2U?version=3&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0" allowFullScreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" /></object></p>
<p>Pretty scary stuff right? If you have a few minutes today, you should really watch that video (and share it with your family and friends)!</p>

<p><em><strong>Note:</strong></em> Want even more food for thought? Did you see the recent CNN Tech article claiming <a href="http://articles.cnn.com/2011-07-29/tech/apple.cash.government_1_ceo-jobs-apple-cash-balance?_s=PM:TECH">Apple now has more cash than the U.S. Government</a>? I don&#8217;t know whether to be depressed at the government or wildly inspired by Apple &#8211; probably both.</p>
<h2><strong>What if the U.S. Government were an American Family?</strong></h2>
<p>This comparison has been done in several places before, but it&#8217;s a great exercise for visualizing the <em>enormous</em> debt levels we face in this country.</p>
<p>The estimated numbers (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_United_States_federal_budget">according to Wikipedia</a>) of the 2011 budget show that you U.S. will bring in around 2.17 trillion dollars, spend around 3.82 trillion dollars, and currently carries over 14 trillion in debt.</p>
<p><strong>But what happens if we divide all these numbers by $50 million dollars?</strong></p>
<p><strong>Imagine a young family with the following numbers:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>They earn $43,400 per year.</li>
<li>But spend $76,400 per year.</li>
</ul>
<p>That means they spend $33,000 per year <em>more</em> than they earn! Ouch.</p>
<p><strong>Even worse, the currently carry <em>$280,000 </em>in debt.</strong> They are trapped, buried, with several huge changes needing to be made to fix their situation.</p>
<p>So, after much arguing, they devise a plan to eliminate an average $1,834 per year for the next ten years.</p>
<p><strong>$1,834 a year&#8230;  from the $33,000 a year they need just to break even! Nice plan.</strong></p>
<p>They realize that just cutting the cable out of their budget (about $153 per month) may not do the trick, so they also agree to make a plan sometime soon to eliminate another $3,000 per year (over the next 10 years) &#8211; but they need time to argue about it more before they decide what to cut.</p>
<p>Over the next ten years, if this young family play theirs plan out <em>perfectly</em> (no hiccups, no increased costs, no new fights with neighbors, no disasters) then they&#8217;ll get to break even.</p>
<p>But over those ten years, the debt will continue to skyrocket each year &#8211; adding more and more weight to their struggles &#8211; and more and more payments to the interest on that debt. That&#8217;s assuming they can find people that&#8217;ll keep lending them money!</p>
<h2><strong>It&#8217;s not enough&#8230;</strong></h2>
<p>I&#8217;m going to blame both parties here. I&#8217;m afraid we haven&#8217;t done enough.</p>
<p>We&#8217;ve got to cut spending much more dramatically. Yes, that includes finding ways to cut Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare and other bloated programs that help the nation&#8217;s most poor. And, yes, that means cutting our military spending, too.</p>
<p>Sorry to say it, but we also have to raise taxes. While I&#8217;m all for smaller government and lower taxes &#8211; we simply can&#8217;t dig out of this hole with spending cuts alone. We bear the burden of the generations of low taxes and high spending before us.</p>
<p>If it were up to me (it&#8217;s clearly not), I&#8217;d favor a 2:1 ratio. We&#8217;d cut twice the spending (as I believe our spending is our core problem) than we would raise taxes &#8211; but we&#8217;d still do both.</p>
<p><strong>We&#8217;d do it hard and fast. We&#8217;d do it starting in 2012.</strong></p>
<p>The current solutions aren&#8217;t big enough. They aren&#8217;t fast enough.</p>
<h2><strong>So what can we do?&#8230;</strong></h2>
<p>No matter how great I think my plan may be (3 trillion in spending cuts and 1.5 trillion in increased taxes per year for the next 5 years), I know it would never fly in Washington. It&#8217;s too unpopular &#8211; and would hurt everyone (the poor, the middle class, and the wealthy).</p>
<p>We are going to have pain, folks. Pain now, or pain in ten years. It&#8217;ll come.</p>
<p>The best way to minimize the pain?</p>
<p><strong>Use this debacle to FUEL your own balanced <em>personal</em> economy.</strong></p>
<p>The primary thing you can do to fight back is to get your own house in order.</p>
<p>Aggressively design your financial life to be free, flexible, adaptable. I don&#8217;t know what the future holds, but I know this debt ceiling stuff is just the tip of the iceberg for the changes we will have to make.</p>
<p>I realize a decent portion of my audience is international, but this still applies. If the U.S. or any other major world economy or two start <em>really</em> hurting (some are already on their way) it&#8217;ll affect all of us.</p>
<p>In this day and age, we should already have  enough motivation to aggressively attack our finances, but let&#8217;s use this as even more fuel.</p>
<p><strong>Mad at your government&#8217;s handling of money?</strong></p>
<p><em>&#8220;Be the change you want to see in the world.&#8221;</em></p>
<p><strong>Show them how it&#8217;s done.</strong></p>
<p>*****</p>

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		<title>It&#8217;s O.K. to Change Your Course</title>
		<link>http://manvsdebt.com/its-o-k-to-change-your-course/</link>
		<comments>http://manvsdebt.com/its-o-k-to-change-your-course/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jun 2011 16:17:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Baker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Do What You Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Money Basics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rants]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://manvsdebt.com/?p=6355</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I want to let you in on a little secret&#8230; It&#8217;s O.K. to change your plans. Turn about face. Pivot. Take a 180. We live in a world which punishes those who take actions to correct a mistake or a course. Wishy-washy, we call them. Flip-floppers. Unstable. Irresponsible. Lazy. Whimsical. A whole host of terms [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-6358" title="It's o.k. to change course" src="http://manvsdebt.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/ChangeCourse.jpg" alt="" width="625" height="417" /></p>

<p>I want to let you in on a little secret&#8230;</p>
<p><strong>It&#8217;s O.K. to change your plans.</strong></p>
<p>Turn about face. Pivot. Take a 180.</p>
<p>We live in a world which punishes those who take actions to correct a mistake or a course.</p>
<p>Wishy-washy, we call them. Flip-floppers. Unstable. Irresponsible. Lazy. Whimsical.</p>
<p>A whole host of terms with negative connotations for people who take abrupt action to change their course, especially when that course may have been a recent decision.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been talking a lot about &#8220;consciousness&#8221; in your life&#8217;s direction &#8211; and &#8220;flexibility&#8221; in how you structure your life.</p>
<p><strong>Part of this is realizing when things need reversed.</strong></p>
<p>It&#8217;s o.k. to sell your house for less than you paid for it &#8211; if you realize that freedom is worth more than the loss.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s o.k. to settle down and buy a home &#8211; if you know that&#8217;s the right decision for your family.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s o.k. to pull your children out of public schools &#8211; if that&#8217;s what you truly believe is best for them.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s o.k. to put your homeschooled children back into a public school &#8211; if you change your mind.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s o.k. to sell something you just bought &#8211; if you realize you no longer need it (or never needed it).</p>
<p>It&#8217;s o.k. to spend money on things that bring joy, purpose, or value into your life &#8211; even if you are paying off debt.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s o.k. to move into an RV, a sailboat, a truck with a rooftop tent, or a cabin in the woods &#8211; if you crave to explore these living arrangements.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s o.k. to quit backpacking around the world &#8211; if you no longer realize it fits with your current goals and passions.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s o.k. to shut down the business you recently launched and take a corporate job &#8211; if that&#8217;s what you are being called to do.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s o.k. to quit your new promising career and pave your own path &#8211; if you know deep down you&#8217;ll do what it take to make it a reality.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p><strong>Realizing you&#8217;ve started down the wrong path &#8211; and correcting course &#8211; is admirable.</strong></p>
<p>It&#8217;s a trait that&#8217;s far too uncommon these days. It&#8217;s a principle that should be praised, not ridiculed.</p>
<p>Staying with a condition in your life that you no longer believe in &#8211; just because you picked that path 12 months earlier &#8211; is insane.</p>
<p>People will challenge you. Most will criticize out of fear. They&#8217;re afraid of what similar changes might mean for their own life.</p>
<p>If you take advice from people who are scared &#8211; don&#8217;t be surprised when you end up trapped in fear yourself.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p><strong>What&#8217;s one decision or condition in your life that needs reversing?</strong></p>
<p>Go ahead and flip-flop.</p>
<p><strong>It&#8217;ll be o.k.</strong></p>
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		<title>Thoughts on Losing an Unborn Child&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://manvsdebt.com/losing-an-unborn-child/</link>
		<comments>http://manvsdebt.com/losing-an-unborn-child/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Jun 2011 16:39:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Baker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Do What You Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rants]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://manvsdebt.com/?p=6340</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Around a month ago, I gleefully announced that Courtney and I were pregnant. When we first found out, we were extremely cautious with sharing our good news. We waited until 12 weeks to tell our family (a long time for us) &#8211; just to be sure the most risky times had passed. And we waited even [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><div>
<p><img title="Losing an unborn child" src="http://manvsdebt.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Losing-an-unborn-child.jpg" alt="" width="640" height="427" /></p>

<p>Around a month ago, I <a href="http://manvsdebt.com/we-are-pregnant/">gleefully announced</a> that Courtney and I were pregnant.</p>
<p>When we first found out, we were extremely cautious with sharing our good news. We waited until 12 weeks to tell our family (a long time for us) &#8211; just to be sure the most risky times had passed.</p>
<p>And we waited even longer &#8211; until we confirmed a heart beat at 14 weeks &#8211; to share it publicly in this medium and others.</p>
<p>You see, we knew the odds of a miscarriage <em>after</em> the first trimester were extremely low. We knew that after hearing a healthy heart beat they were even tinier.</p>
<p>But the odds are never zero.</p>
<p>No matter how many precautions you take &#8211; or how long you wait &#8211; there is <em>always</em> risk.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p><strong>A little over a week ago, Courtney and I lost the baby at 19 weeks gestation.</strong></p>
<p>Afterwards, due to the circumstances and the amount of blood loss, our doctor in the emergency room suggested putting Courtney &#8220;under&#8221; to perform surgery.</p>
<p>It was a safe surgery &#8211; one out of precaution more than anything &#8211; but that didn&#8217;t lessen the seriousness of it for me.</p>
<p>I knew anytime you go &#8220;under&#8221; for surgery there is a tiny risk &#8211; and I wasn&#8217;t particularly interested in playing with odds any more on this particular day.</p>
<p>Courtney awoke safe and sound 45 minutes later.</p>
<p>That night, we sat on the curb and watched a parade.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p><strong>The days that followed were interesting (still are).</strong></p>
<p>At first, I felt almost nothing. I was in crisis-mode, I guess.</p>
<p><em>&#8220;This is just another event in life.&#8221;</em></p>
<p><em>&#8220;If there is anyone who can handle this, it&#8217;s Courtney.&#8221;</em></p>
<p><em>&#8220;What&#8217;s the next action I need to take&#8230; who do I need to call&#8230; what do I need to cancel&#8230; what should we do in the next hour&#8230;&#8221;</em></p>
<p>In fact, I was surprised at how little it affected me. I felt guilty for not feeling worse.</p>
<p><strong>It was 4 or 5 days later when it finally hit me&#8230; I <em>loved</em> this child.</strong></p>
<p>I never met my son while he was alive, but I loved him nonetheless.</p>
<p>I loved the hopes and dreams we were forming. I loved the idea of our family expanding. I loved everything that this new chapter in our life represented.</p>
<p>Staring at a fetus in an emergency room sink, it&#8217;s tough to identify feelings of any kind. But days later, I finally identified what I was feeling&#8230;</p>
<p><strong>I was feeling <em>love</em>.</strong></p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Afterward, I tried to ask myself what my thoughts were on the process. I kept coming back to this&#8230;</p>
<p><strong>We are unbelievably and undeniably blessed.</strong></p>
<p>My first words to Courtney were <em>&#8220;Let&#8217;s be thankful this happened to us &#8211; and not someone else. We can handle this. We have lots of options. Other people may not be as fortunate as we are.&#8221;</em></p>
<p>I&#8217;m not sure where those words came from. I realize they may sound arrogant &#8211; or unemotional &#8211; or like a coping mechanism. But that&#8217;s what I truly felt in the moment.</p>
<p><strong>I felt blessed.</strong></p>
<p>Blessed to be married to such a strong woman. Blessed to have so many options. Blessed to have so much support.</p>
<p>More recently, grief has crowded out most other emotions. It&#8217;s been much harder to have a positive outlook. Though, underneath it all - <em>blessed</em> still reigns supreme.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p><strong>This also taught me the power of true friendship.</strong></p>
<p>In the past, I always thought that <em>true </em>friends were built over decades. That you&#8217;d need to know the intimate details of their childhood, spend lots of time together, and be able to name off every person they&#8217;ve ever dated. I have friends like this &#8211; and I&#8217;m thankful for them.</p>
<p>On that Saturday morning, I had hundreds of people I knew that had come together in Portland for an amazing conference. Many of them I consider close and fantastic friends.</p>
<p>Sitting in the emergency room, Courtney and I realized we could call any number of dozens of people who&#8217;d immediately drop what they were doing and rush to come help us. It was an amazing feeling at that point in time.</p>
<p>When it came time to make the call&#8230; I called Grant.</p>
<p>I met Grant only a little over a year ago, we&#8217;ve talked face-to-face less than a half dozen times, and I have almost no knowledge of his childhood or anyone he&#8217;s dated outside his amazing wife.</p>
<p><strong>Despite all that, I knew he&#8217;d be there. </strong>I knew we wouldn&#8217;t have to worry about Milligan. I knew I could talk to him. And I knew that he&#8217;d understand.</p>
<p><strong>As it turns out, true friendships don&#8217;t care about the list of requirements we think they need to exist.</strong></p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Lastly, going through this process has reaffirmed by commitment to flexibility in life &#8211; both mentally and physically.</p>
<p><strong>We can&#8217;t predict what will happen next. </strong>We can&#8217;t know what unbelievable opportunities will appear &#8211; or what heartbreaks wait for us on Saturday mornings.</p>
<p><strong>But we <em>can</em> adapt.</strong></p>
<p>We can build our lives and our attitudes around flexibility.</p>
<p>Flexibility allows us to savor and enjoy the highs &#8211; and bounce back stronger from the lows.</p>
<p><strong>Without flexibility&#8230; we&#8217;re trapped.</strong></p>
<p>We&#8217;re trapped in our lives and we&#8217;re trapped in our minds. There&#8217;s no room to breathe&#8230; there&#8217;s no room to adapt&#8230; there&#8217;s no room to recover.</p>
<p>I felt a lot of emotions over the last couple of days&#8230; but I&#8217;ve never once felt trapped.</p>
<p>And for that &#8211; I&#8217;m extremely thankful.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>When I first realized that I&#8217;d have to blog about this event (having obviously announced the pregnancy), it frustrated me.</p>
<p>But then it hit me&#8230; once again&#8230; that I&#8217;m <em>blessed</em>.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m blessed to have a community of thousands of people on similar life journeys. I&#8217;m blessed to be able to share, learn, and grow publicly.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m blessed to have an outlet to mold and share important thoughts and experiences I have &#8211; even if that means the occasional teary-eyed post now and then.</p>
<p>Thanks, gang.</p>
<p><strong>xoxoxo</strong></p>
<p><strong>-Baker</strong></p>
</div>
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		<title>&#8220;I Don&#8217;t Look Back and Regret Anything&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://manvsdebt.com/i-dont-look-back-and-regret-anything/</link>
		<comments>http://manvsdebt.com/i-dont-look-back-and-regret-anything/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 May 2011 23:08:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Baker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Do What You Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rants]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://manvsdebt.com/?p=6220</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My post earlier this week on Osama bin Laden&#8217;s death stirred up a tiny minority of readers. It wasn&#8217;t my goal to be &#8220;political&#8221; or &#8220;arrogant&#8221; &#8211; it was my goal to express and ask the tough questions I was struggling with. That said, I know death &#8211; especially in that situation &#8211; can be [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-6221" title="I don't look back and regret anything" src="http://manvsdebt.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/The-Last-Post.jpg" alt="" width="625" height="314" /></p>

<p>My post earlier this week on Osama bin Laden&#8217;s death stirred up a tiny minority of readers.</p>
<p>It wasn&#8217;t my goal to be &#8220;political&#8221; or &#8220;arrogant&#8221; &#8211; it was my goal to express and ask the tough questions I was struggling with. That said, I know death &#8211; especially in that situation &#8211; can be controversial.</p>
<p>Today, however,<strong> I stumbled across another story of a death.</strong> And once again, I&#8217;m moved to share this with you.</p>
<p>Yesterday, Derek K. Miller posted his &#8220;<a href="http://penmachine-bu.appspot.com/2011/05/the-last-post">Last Post</a>&#8221; on his blog (or rather his family did).</p>
<p>You see, <em>&#8220;Derek doesn&#8217;t exist anymore&#8221;</em> (as he says it). He succumbed to cancer &#8211; a fate all his loved ones and readers knew was coming. I didn&#8217;t know Derek or his writing before today &#8211; but there have been very few posts that have impacted me the way this one did.</p>
<p>Before he lost his battle with cancer, Derek wrote his last post &#8211; and asked his family to post it once he passed.</p>
<p>He reflects on his life and his view of the world &#8211; which whether you agree with it or not &#8211; has tear-inducing power.</p>
<p>One line above all stuck with me.</p>
<p>As he says his final goodbyes to his wife and two young daughters, he states <strong><em>&#8220;I don&#8217;t look back and regret anything, and I hope my family can find a way to do the same.&#8221;</em></strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>[<a href="http://penmachine-bu.appspot.com/2011/05/the-last-post">Do yourself a favor and read Derek's last post today</a>]</strong></p>
<p>Remember, this blog is about our journey (and your journey) to <em>consciously</em> live life. Taking back control of your finances is a HUGE step in this process &#8211; but it&#8217;s not the only step.</p>
<p>In my mind, stories like this are the <em>reason</em> this journey is worth it. It&#8217;s the reason we attack our debt&#8230; the reason we purge our meaningless stuff&#8230; the reason we ruthlessly pursue our true passions.</p>
<p><strong>I don&#8217;t know about you, but my ultimate goal is to be like Derek.</strong></p>
<p>I want to be able to proudly say &#8211; both now and on my death bed&#8230;</p>
<p><strong> &#8220;I don&#8217;t look back and regret anything&#8221;.</strong></p>
<p>*****</p>
<p><em>photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/naturesdawn/4526805177/">dawn</a></em></p>
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		<title>The Cost of a Dead Osama Bin Laden</title>
		<link>http://manvsdebt.com/cost-of-dead-osama-bin-laden/</link>
		<comments>http://manvsdebt.com/cost-of-dead-osama-bin-laden/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 02 May 2011 14:25:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Baker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rants]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://manvsdebt.com/?p=6207</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As you likely know,  it was announced last night that earlier in the week Osama Bin Laden was killed by a small U.S. Navy SEAL team in a luxury compound in Pakistan. I won&#8217;t pull punches &#8211; this makes me extremely happy. I&#8217;m not overly gung-ho about war, but in this case, I&#8217;m proud his life [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-6209" title="Cost of Bin Laden's Death" src="http://manvsdebt.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/OsamaBinLaden.jpg" alt="" width="625" height="418" /></p>

<p>As you likely know,  it was announced last night that earlier in the week <strong>Osama Bin Laden was killed </strong>by a small U.S. Navy SEAL team in a luxury compound in Pakistan.</p>
<p>I won&#8217;t pull punches &#8211; this makes me extremely happy. I&#8217;m not overly gung-ho about war, but in this case,<strong> I&#8217;m proud his life was ended by an American bullet to the head.</strong></p>
<p>As I took a break to watch some television and internet coverage last night, the issue of the &#8220;cost&#8221; of the war and effort to find Bin Laden was brought into light.</p>
<p><strong>The best research I could do found these statistics:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li><strong><strong>1,000+ </strong></strong>Coalition troops &amp; contractors killed<strong><br />
</strong></li>
<li><strong><strong>1,100+ </strong></strong>U.S. Soldiers killed in Afghanistan<strong><br />
</strong></li>
<li><strong>2,974 </strong>American civilians killed in 9/11.</li>
<li><strong>3,000+ </strong>Injured American troops</li>
<li><strong>15,000+ </strong>Afghan troops &amp; civilians killed</li>
<li><strong>45,000+ </strong>Injured Afghan troops</li>
<li><strong>$400,000,000,000+ </strong>spent.</li>
</ul>
<p>These rough estimates only account for Afghanistan. By all accounts, when you add in the Iraq war, <strong>the numbers just get bonkers.</strong></p>
<p>$400 billion dollars. That&#8217;s a lot of money, but doesn&#8217;t even come close to the value of the lives lost along the way.</p>
<p>No matter how you do the math, over the last nine and a half years we&#8217;ve paid a hefty price tag.</p>
<p><strong>This begs the question&#8230; <em>Was it worth it?</em></strong></p>
<p>How do we define <em>worth</em> in a situation like this? How do you measure value? Is this a pyrrhic victory or cause for true celebration?</p>
<p>In my opinion, this <em>had</em> to happen. Bin Laden needed to be found and killed.</p>
<p>Because there&#8217;s only one question scarier than asking about the cost of killing Bin Laden&#8230;</p>
<p><strong>What&#8217;s the cost of <em>not</em> killing Osama Bin Laden?</strong></p>
<p>Thanks to an elite group of Navy SEALS, we no longer have to ponder that question.</p>
<p>It will be interesting to see if any policy changes come in the next few months.</p>
<p>Let&#8217;s keep our fingers crossed.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p><em>photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ssoosay/5678707481/">ssoosay</a></em></p>
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		<title>Why Student Loans Suck&#8230; [Infographic]</title>
		<link>http://manvsdebt.com/why-student-loans-suck/</link>
		<comments>http://manvsdebt.com/why-student-loans-suck/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Apr 2011 21:25:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Baker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Money Basics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pay Off Your Debt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rants]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://manvsdebt.com/?p=6173</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[While I rarely repost &#8220;infographics&#8221; here (most I see are pretty lame), every once and a while one just comes along and blows my mind. In the past you&#8217;ve enjoyed ones on health care reform and the &#8220;too much credit&#8221; trend &#8211; today I hope you&#8217;ll take the time to dig into this beauty by College Scholarships.org: [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p>While I rarely repost &#8220;infographics&#8221; here (most I see are pretty lame), every once and a while one just comes along and blows my mind.</p>
<p>In the past you&#8217;ve enjoyed ones on <a href="http://manvsdebt.com/health-care-reform-changes-coming/">health care reform</a> and the &#8220;<a href="http://manvsdebt.com/too-much-credit-graphic/">too much credit</a>&#8221; trend &#8211; today I hope you&#8217;ll take the time to dig into this beauty by <a href="http://www.collegescholarships.org/">College Scholarships.org</a>:</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-6177" title="Why Student Loans Suck..." src="http://manvsdebt.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Student-Loans.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="3569" /></p>

<p>I love how this not only outlines the problem in a fun, easy-to-understand way &#8211; but also provides several ways for you to fight back.</p>
<p>As most of you know, Sallie Mae is still an un-welcomed guest in our financial life. It&#8217;s stuff like this that gets me excited for the fast approaching day when we kick her to the curb once and for all.</p>
<p><strong>Xoxoxo,</strong></p>
<p><strong>-Baker</strong></p>
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