Today, Chris Guillebeau’s new book The Art of Non-Conformity:  Set your own rules, Live the life you want, and Change the world hits real and digital bookshelves across the country!

I’ve stated many times before (and it’s still true) that Chris is one of my favorite online personalities and his blog, The Art of Non-Conformity, is by far my favorite blog.  Simply put, no single source online has had a greater impact on my life and work.  So, as you can imagine, I was extremely excited to get my hands on an early review copy of the book!

I’ve decided to celebrate the launch of the book by giving away 5 free copies here on launch week! That’s right.  I’m purchasing these in order to both support the book and to give back to the audience here!  Win-win-win!  :-)  At the bottom of the post, you’ll find details to enter to win a free copy!

Note: There’s absolutely 0% chance that my thoughts below on this book are unbiased.  I’m a ravenous fan of Chris’ message and I consider him a personal friend.  Not to mention that our (Courtney and I) story is featured in the Personal Finance chapter of the book.  So if you are looking for an unbiased review…  sorry!

The core message…

In his own words, Chris’ core message is this:

“You don’t have to live your life the way other people expect you to. You can do good things for yourself and make the world a better place at the same time. Here’s how to do it.”

Chris sets up the book to nail home this message from the beginning.  The majority of the book jumps between tidbits of his own personal background and journey, examples and features on other examples of people living intentionally, and advice (with specific tips) on how to execute your own deliberate plan.

I devoured the book in two separate sessions and after I put it down, I came away with the following…

I can really do this.  No, seriously…  *I* can really, freakin’ do this!

You see, this is almost always the affect Chris’ message has on me.  He has the ability to take what seems to the majority of people to be extreme (visiting every country in the world… selling everything you own and moving with a young family across the world…) and making it seem… feasible.

I guess he sort of grants me permission.  His message validates those core feelings and passions that the rest of the world is set up to “keep in check”.

While the majority of the world is saying “You probably shouldn’t”, this book is suggesting “Why the hell not?”.

And, for me, that’s exactly what I need.  That’s why I love the online communities I’m a part of.

Comparison to the Four Hour Workweek…

It’s nearly impossible not to compare The Art of Non-Conformity to Tim Ferriss’ The Four Hour Workweek. It’s not exactly a fair comparison, as even though they are both fruits (life design books) they are drastically different fruits.  Still, I’ve talked to half a dozen people about the book in private and every single time a discussion/comparison of the two has emerged.

In my life, The Four Hour Workweek completely shattered my world view.  It drastically changed my perspective on what was possible and led me down a rabbit hole that eventually turned me onto much of what is a core part of my life now.  It’s because of 4HWW that I started thinking unconventionally.  It’s because of 4HWW that I searched and found blogs, communities, and online businesses.

But, I needed more than the 4HWW to influence me.  Everyone does. The 4HWW’s brash and sometimes confrontational style can chip away at the years of conformity that has covered your brain.  It left my belief structure in pieces, which I’m very thankful for!

But, for me and for many people I’ve talked with, the 4HWW didn’t put Humpty together again.  It shook up how we approached the world, but we weren’t able to piece together a purpose or a mission for ourselves.  For me, a dogged pursuit of hacks, systems, and automation didn’t quite connect.  I just wasn’t able to apply it to my own life.

And this is the one area, above all others, that Chris Guillebeau excels at.  He has a gift for making abstract concepts, seem tangible… seem doable. I can relate to the examples he uses… I can see myself in similar positions.

The Art of Non-Conformity puts Humpty together again…

If you are at a place where you know… you just know that there is more.  That you should be doing more.  That you should be living more intentionally, more… awake… unplugged from the matrix… whatever you want to call it.  This book will help you make the unknown, known.  It will validate, dust you off, point you in the right direction, and show you the steps to make it happen.

My Biggest Takeaways…

Here were my biggest takeaways from the book:

Traditional security isn’t what it’s been built up to be.

In the middle of the books, especially Chapters 5 and 6, Chris spends time reflecting on the notion of security.  For decades, the traditional notion has been that going to college, getting a flexible degree, and obtaining a bi-weekly paycheck was the secure route. And, for decades, it really was.

But the times they are a-changing.  No longer is there much security in any traditional job.  In fact, if you want true security you have to develop the skills, the network, and the ability to go out and conquer it yourself.  You’ve got to make your own security.  This part of Chris’ message that resonates deeply with me!

Chris also spend time driving home a comparison of how his college experience compared to his launching a blog experience.  He calls it “Traditional Experience” vs. “Alternative Experience” and makes the case that there are much cheaper, faster, and more powerful avenues for many to gain experience and education.

Note that I said for many to gain, not for everyone.  Chris is quick to point out that for some, college is a necessary or even a preferred track.  He simply encourages people not to assume it’s the best path.  Not to default to it for default’s sake.  As he points out, far too many of us college, especially graduate school, as a method of life avoidance.

This leads me into my next takeaway…

No path is holier than another…

Blogging isn’t better than becoming a lawyer.  Going to college isn’t automatically a lesser option to real world experience.  Working a day job isn’t the devil.  You don’t have to travel to feel alive.

Chris makes it clear that he loves to travel.  He also bluntly states that he gained more expertise and experience blogging than he did in college and he’d probably never really feel like himself in a traditional day job.  But he doesn’t force his life model down anyone’s throat.  Frankly, that’s pretty rare these days.

The Art of Non-Conformity simply sets out to empower you to live intentionally.  To not go with the flow, just because others tell you to.  Not to follow a certain path, because society laid it out before you.

For some, this means creating or finding the perfect day job.  One where they feel alive and filled with purpose.  For others it may be traveling the world working from their laptops.  Some may need to go to 8 years of college and others won’t need to finish High School.

Chris’ well-rounded approach in this aspect makes his message insanely approachable.  He’s not afraid to share his choices, nor is he afraid to provide his opinions or even his preferences.  But the core message is only exclusive of those with a closed mind.  And I dig that.

Your Legacy Starts Now

The most powerful concept in the entire book for me was one of the last.

The concept is simple, so many of us wait until later in life to think about our legacy.  The older we get, the more our focus shifts to the people, ideas, and impact we’ll leave behind.

But why do we have to wait until we get older? We don’t. It’s so simple… yet, so powerful.

Chris urges us to not only start thinking about our legacy in big terms, but to actually focus our daily work on those activities which contribute to our legacy.  It’s a powerful tool for time management!  Ensure you are spending the majority of your time on those actions, activities, or items that will impact your legacy the greatest.

I love it.  I’m not a huge time management person.  I’m actually terrible at it.  But whenever I think about my day in terms of legacy, it becomes much more clear just how much of the routine crap doesn’t matter.  I spend more time with my family (my most important legacy) and more of my working time on creating and sharing.

How to win a FREE – FREE – FREE copy!  :-)

One of Chris’ final points in the book is a call to action:

Wake up in the middle of the night with good ideas.  Share them with the world.

Well, this book isn’t my idea… but that’s not going to stop me from sharing it with the world.  I believe in it’s message deeply and as a result, I’m buying and giving away 5 Free copies via this post.

• Leave a comment on this post!

In the comments section below, leave me a brief message on why you should win the book and how you will use it’s power for good!  :-)  I’ll pick my favorite 10 or so (some funny, some serious) and then randomize 3 winners from among those ten.

• Comment on Man Vs. Debt Facebook Page!

Visit the Man Vs. Debt Facebook Page and leave a comment on the main thread I started for this giveaway.  Not the post thread… it’s a separate wall post… you’ll see it.  I want to know what you’ll do with the book after you are done with it!

• Tweet out the launch or giveaway on Twitter!

Simply tweet out (copy and paste into Twitter) the following message:

The Art of Non-Conformity Book launches today!  Win a free copy via @ManVsDebt’s review –> http://bit.ly/c1a74k – #MvDAoNC

You can edit the tweet to your preference.  Make sure to include a proclamation of the book launch and the hashtag #MvDAoNC – so I can track the entries!

You Should Buy This Book…

Seriously, it’s well worth it.  Did I mention it’s only $9 right now on Amazon?

$9 freakin’ dollars!  Are you kidding me?

I still can’t believe the price point, but I’m incredibly happy.  So happy I’ve ordered several to give to close family and friends and 5 extra to giveaway here.

Buy this:  The Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau

ap-pre-ci-ate; (verb)

1. Recognize the full worth.
2. Be grateful for (something).

I’ve been caught up recently.  For the last two months, I’ve been working intensely on my next guide.  For the last two weeks, I’ve been focused deeply on recommitting myself here with MvD.

Whenever I burrow myself into “work”-mode like this, I have a tendency to take things for granted.

As I was looking through some recent pictures Courtney took, the one above made me stop.  Something about it forced me to appreciate... “Woah,” I thought, “She’s getting really, really good at this.”

You see, Courtney’s been very dedicated in improving her photography skills.  She’s chipped away at her goal slowly, taking photos every couple days, renting books from the library, following blogs and joining forums online.  She doesn’t have any of the fancy gadgets or lenses that many do… just the stock lens that came with the camera and a big scoop of dedication.

Unfortunately, it took a photo like the one above to make me appreciate all that hard work!

This particular photo also made me realize the dramatic development Milligan is experiencing.  As she approaches 2.5 years old, she’s a beautiful, strong-willed, and curious little girl… three traits I hope she maintains the rest of her life.

At this point, Milli is growing and changing weekly, if not daily. This is a phase in her life that demands my appreciation!  If I were to take it for granted, I’d regret it the rest of my life.

Don’t wait for a picture to jolt you. Many of us are burdened by financial mistakes, consumed with work, and/or distracted by the meaningless details of daily life.   But that’s no excuse.

What things in your life deserve more appreciation?  More importantly, what people in your life deserve more appreciation?

Don’t hesitate.  Take some time out of your day to tell them.

Make time to appreciate.

*****

photo by the amazing Courtney Baker

I’m a big fan of a process I call “imprinting mottos”.

No, that’s not a official or scientific term.  In fact, it’s a widely popular concept and probably does have a real name.  Instead of trying to figure that out, I just made up this ghetto name.  Only I know what it is, so it’s useless to everyone but me.  I tend to do this a lot.  *shrug*

Anyway, “imprinting mottos” is what I call the process of latching yourself onto a phrase, a motto, or a saying so intensely that it becomes part of your thought process.  Some astute people may call it “anchoring”… sure, that’s cool too.

Whether we realize it or not, we do this all the time.  ”I’m not good enough…”  ”I’m cold never earn that much…”  ”Just one piece is o.k….”  ”I work hard, I deserve this car…”

These sayings become part of our thought processes… part of who we are.

By nature, most of my automatic “imprinting” or “anchoring” tends to be negative.  They are mostly justifications or excuses to make me feel better.  What I try to do is find sexy, compelling quotes or concepts to help reverse my unfortunate natural trend.

For example, Tony Robbins lent me this one “Nothing tastes as good as being fit feels!”. Sure, it doesn’t always work (especially for me), but occasionally I do find myself passing up certain foods or extra helpings because this phrase pops into my head.  I’ve made an active decision to adopt this…  I’ve repeated it to myself…  I’ve made it part of me (at least a small… small part).

I’m not talking about affirmations here, either.  I’m not suggesting you repeat “…and gosh darn it, people like me” a hundred times while doing jumping jacks.  I’m not against affirmations, but I’m not captain of the fan club if you will.

Let me find the point of all this…

Don’t ask… Don’t get…

Ah yes, I remember.  Probably the best example of “imprinting” I use in my life is with the following phrase:

If you don’t ask, the answer is always No!

I don’t remember where I first heard that saying, but as soon as I did…  it was mine.  I own it.  It’s a core part of who I am now.

Any time I find myself in a situation where I’m stuck or contemplating my options… this phrase pops into my brain.  I’m not smart enough to know how I imprinted it so deeply.  All I know, is that it happens all the time now.

And nearly every time it pops into my brain, it spurs me into action.  It gets me to do the most important thing 95% of the time when stuck…

Ask.

Ask for help.  Ask for what you want.  Ask for a discount… a raise… for an honest opinion.

So many of the best things in my life have come out of simply asking:

• “Will you marry me?”
• “Do you really want to go to Australia?”
• “How specifically did you build this community?”
• “Wait… how in the heck did you get pregnant?”

Ok… so maybe the last one isn’t a good example.  But the first three are questions that radically changed my experience of life for the better… and are all in situations where I was nervous and/or stuck.  Break through the hestitations and just ask…

Ask for a discount.  Ask for a better rate.

Ask for a raise.  Ask for a promotion.

Ask for advice.  Ask for honest feedback.

Most things in life aren’t going to just fall in your lap.  When was the last time you were at the register, getting ready to pay, and the clerk said “you know what… here’s a 20% discount.” Sure it happens, but not as often as when you ask.

You think your boss sits around and says “If Sally doesn’t mention or hint at a raise for another two months… I just may give it to her.” Again, rarely if ever.  You’ll get it faster by asking for it professionally and confidently.

Don’t get me wrong, you will still be told no.  Sometimes that’s the answer either way.  But one way to guarantee you never get a yes… is to avoid asking altogether.  You can play chance or you can make your own.

Don’t just ask others…  ask yourself…

In all the examples above, we’re asking others.  That’s where I started.  It’s helped me break out of decision-making paralysis and the far majority of the time actually ends up with a “sure” or “yeah” as the result.

But recently, I’ve realized that this isn’t just for asking others.  It applies to asking yourself, too.

So many times, I find myself trapped by fake excuses and barriers.  I, like you, put these up to keep me from uncomfortable change.

Leaving to live in Australia with a one year old was impossible all the way up until the point that… it wasn’t.

I’m not being funny, I’m being serious.  It was literally impossible in our minds until the actual point that it wasn’t.  You know what changed?  We asked.

We had thrown around the concept for a year, both laughing and sort of brushing it off.  It was an inside joke… it was a someday-it-would-be-nice dream.  It was impossible anyway, no need to think about it seriously.

Then, on a day filled with a unique amount of clarity, we simply asked… “Hmmm, is this actually possible?  Do we really want to go?  Could we really do it?”

All the sudden, the answer was Yes.  It went from impossible to probable in the time it took to ask a question. A year later we boarded a plane with no consumer debt, two backpacks, and a baby.

For Pete’s sake…  go look in the mirror and HONESTLY ask yourself what is possible.

As those of you know that have followed the blog for a while, not everything will be automatically peachy (wasn’t for us).  That’s not what I’m saying.  I’m not telling you that asking will always get you a yes.  I’m not saying that Yes is always the best answer for you either.

My point is this: The most powerful concept on this planet is a question.  Asking one, whether to yourself or someone else, has the potential to revolutionize.  If you never step up to the plate and ask, though, I can tell you what the answer will be.  It’ll be No.

Here’s to asking.

photo by Epi.Longo

This is a guest post by best-selling author and blogger Ramit Sethi.

For years, the most requested topic on my site, I Will Teach You To Be Rich, has been earning more money. Yet I intentionally stayed away because it’s almost always sleazy, attracting a ton of losers who simply want a silver bullet instead of actually working hard to earn money.

But if you’ve read my stuff, you know that I don’t spend much time on frugality, which I mostly consider a waste of time. Instead, I encourage people to focus on the Big Wins — automation, investing, negotiating, and understanding the psychology of money.

I’ve always said that you can’t out-frugal your way to being rich. So after nonstop requests for posts addressing earning more, I decided to make 2010 the Year of Earning More. The past 7 months have been dedicated to helping people earn more money by earning more on the side, and the response so far has been massive. Hundreds of thousands of people read, commented, and Tweeted and otherwise chimed in on earning more. Everyone wants to make more money.

Great enthusiasm — but there’s just one thing wrong with this…

Most people who say they WANT to earn more… never will.

Many of the same people who say they want to earn more also say they want to lose weight…only they focus on the “I wish I could lose weight” part instead of the “I’m going to go the gym 3x/week and eat 25% fewer calories.” They’re delusionally goal-oriented, focusing on the end result instead of how to actually get there.

As much as everyone says they want to earn more — and sure, they’d try it if only they could — most people will never earn a single dollar beyond their regular 9-to-5 paycheck. Fewer still will ramp that one dollar up to $1,000, or more, in side income. The pattern is always the same:

• ‘Earning more’ is sexy, so they get motivated, “$1,000 extra dollars on the side? I want that!”
• They get started with the actual work of generating an idea, and figuring out their target market, but quickly realize things aren’t as easy as they thought, “How come nobody wants to pay me $500 a month to manage their Twitter account??” (The worst is: ‘I’m good at writing grants. Maybe non-profits will pay me to write grants for them!’ No, they won’t.)
• They alternate between chasing a million things, and taking no action at all.
• They eventually give up, putting off earning more until they have “the right idea” (i.e. never).

Enthusiasm and motivation are VERY powerful ways to get started, but they don’t carry you through to your first $1,000.

What does? A system that helps you identify ideas, test them for profitability, and then scale up your marketing. Compare this to most people, who think that earning more is about finding a magical idea that will somehow urinate money on them from heaven.

Why so much emphasis on that first $1,000? In my experience helping people to earn their first rounds of side income, I’ve noticed that $1,000 is the key earning threshold. Earning $100 is good, but it could be a fluke. Earning $500 is a better signal that you’re on the right track. After you hit $1,000, you know that you’re doing something right. After that, you can implement something I call The Tuner Strategy to “tune” your revenue up as much as you want — from $1,000 to $3,000 to $5,000/month, and more.

Interestingly, for many people who do reach the key-earning threshold, going from $0 on the side to $1,000 is harder than going from $1,000 to $5,000. But the biggest hurdle to get past is that first $1,000.

3 reasons why MOST people never get past the $1,000 hurdle

…and how you CAN earn more money.

Excuse #1. “But my situation is different.” Maybe their skillset (“But I’m not a programmer!”) or their background (“But I didn’t go to STANFORD!”) or the other demands in their lives (“But I have a full time job and a partner/kids!”) or ANYTHING (“But I have special motivation problems because my parents didn’t push me hard enough,” “But I get sick easily,” “I’m too young, too old, not smart enough, etc.”) It goes on and on, and it always starts with a “But…” and ends with the person doing nothing.

It’s natural to make excuses about our circumstances because it’s usually far easier than actually doing something about them.

The truth is, our problems are almost never unique. There are a litany of excuses we use to justify not earning more, but every day, someone is out there solving the same problems you’re facing now. So the next time you’re tempted to make an excuse, try an exercise I call Be the Adviser. ALL of the most successful CEOs and leaders around the world have key advisers helping them to problem-solve their way out of the toughest situations. Today, you are your own adviser. What is the first thing you say? What are the specific takeaways that you want your client (in this case, yourself) to walk away with? What are the results that would mean you did your job well as an adviser?

Excuses are us looking at our barriers from one standpoint — ours. Being your own adviser is a way of looking at — and tearing down — our barriers from an alternate standpoint.

This is like when you listen to a radio show and you hear a girl call in, saying her boyfriend has no job, is a slob, and drinks with his friends all day. “LEAVE HIM!!” we all scream. But when it happens to us, we’re not sure what to do.

We’re not unique.

Be The Adviser to yourself and see what concrete steps you could take today to change your situation, or simply ignore it long enough to earn more.

Excuse #2. “I’m still working on the perfect idea.” Are you really ‘working’ on it? Or are you waiting around with no plan, simply hoping that you’ll stumble across a magical idea?

Here’s an easy way to tell: In the last week, what have you done to find and refine your idea? If the answer is nothing, you’re not “working” on an idea, you’re being lazy and doing nothing.

Yes, your idea is important — to an extent. It enables you to get started, but the most successful people — the ones earning incomes to dwarf even fat corporate paychecks — NEVER stop at their first idea. Instead, that first idea is just a tiny launch-point for an ongoing process of refining and improving their service offerings, understanding and marketing to their audience, and scaling up their business. This is how you turn your skills into income.

Your goal is to make it to that initial $1,000 — NOT start the next Google.

Here’s a quick exercise that should get you going in about 10 minutes: Brainstorm a list of ideas, pick your favorite and start with that. If it doesn’t work, either improve it, or cross it off the list and move on to the next one.

If you don’t have any ideas at all, look around at the marketplace. You don’t need to be unique to make money, and you don’t even need to be the best (another HUGE misconception about freelancing and earning more). You do, however, need to be consistent and persistent, and laser-focused on just one goal…

Your only goal with freelancing and earning more is to get 3 paying clients. With freelancing, 3 is the magic number — you’ll know it’s not a fluke, and you’ll have a client base that’s significant enough to show you what you need to do to improve your offering for maximum impact. Even if the rates aren’t high (don’t worry about that just yet), you’ll learn invaluable insights that you’d never otherwise have gained.

It’s not sexy to say, but it only takes an average idea with above-average execution to win.

Excuse #3. “Should I set up a Facebook page??” and other worthless tasks that replace making money. People tend to treat starting a business like they’re packing for a vacation — you pick out all the fun (or unchallenging) stuff first. “Social media profiles, check. Business cards with fancy logo, check. SEO-optimized blog, check.” What ends up happening is they spend all their energy STARTING a business and never actually DOING business.

YOU DO NOT NEED SOCIAL MEDIA TO EARN MONEY ON THE SIDE. Let me say that again. I recently paid someone over $50,000 for a few months of work. He has no website. He has no significant social-media profile. What he IS good at is understanding my problems and solving them. He makes over $10k/month from me now.

Please listen closely because this is one of the most pernicious myths around right now. Virtually every “expert” is telling you you MUST have a full complement of social media profiles, including Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, blog, etc. That’s complete BS.

How will Twitter get you paying clients? This is when people start hedging and coming up with ridiculous answers like “It will help me engage…and be a brand.” Your goal isn’t to build a brand. It’s to get 3 paying clients. Anything else is a waste of time.

There’s absolutely nothing inherently wrong with business cards or starting a blog or managing a Facebook profile, but be honest with yourself. Is that task mission-critical, or are you using it as a stand-in for talking to a real, potentially paying, client?

Key Takeaway: When you’re starting to earn money on the side, you only have one goal — get 3 paying clients. If you can do that, then you’ve proven not only your idea, but your execution, and you’ll be thousands of dollars ahead of today.

* * *

* * *

Ramit Sethi is the author of the best-selling personal finance book I Will Teach You To Be Rich. His new program is designed to help you earn more money on the side.

Today, I’m sharing a video post about an important topic that applies to finances, lifestyle, and business.  Actually, I believe it to be the most important element of making any change.

This may just be a personality thing, but I’m starting to hear from others that it’s universal (not just me).  :-)

• [2:08] – How “changing your environment” can be applied in your finances.
• [3:25] – Why the same principle helped us sell 95% of our clutter (and why it’s fighting against us now).  :-)
• [4:38] – My fitness advice…  ironic, yes I know.  (Actually it’s environment-based fitness advice I recently read!)
• [6:37] – Conclusion and questions for you guys!
• [7:00] – I show off my cool new office swag (pictures of media mentions that Courtney framed).

I’m really interested to hear your thoughts on this issue.  Specifically, whether you feel the benefit in the same way I do and how you take steps to accomplish “environment change”.  It’s been a very interesting concept for me lately.

Today, Chris Guillebeau opens up another 24-hour window to his blockbuster “Empire Building Kit” guide.

The Empire Building Kit, Chris’ most ambitious and value-packed guide to date, focuses on building a “lifestyle business”, which Chris defines as “a business oriented around something you love, with less than three employees and net income of $50,000+ a year.”

Now that’s what I’m talking about!  :-)

Last time Chris opened up a 24 hour window (his launch last month), his payment processor freaked out at the sudden surge of traffic and sales.  Buzz dominated the interwebs for a day and it quickly became Chris’ most successful launch (that’s saying a lot).  But after the 24 hours, as promised, Chris removed the product from the market.

This time around, Chris is opening the product up again for affiliates of his Unconventional Guides.  As most of you know, Chris is one of the few people/products I proudly support on the “Products I Love” page here.  His previous guides have changed my life, enhanced my travel, and revolutionized my business, so I knew Empire Building Kit would be great…  I just didn’t realize how insanely deep Chris was going to take it!

In honor of the impact Empire Building Kit is having (with myself and several other people I know), I wanted to share 3 of the countless business lessons I’ve learned from Chris.  These are the areas where he’s influence me the most, either through his writing or in our chats.  Whenever I talk to someone who asks me for advice, these are almost always the first few concepts I share.

1.  You can do it yourself.

In other words, stop worrying about specialty systems, outsourcing, and hiring a virtual assistant.  Also, stop complaining about e-mail, productivity, scheduling, and how busy you are.

You see, around the 6-month point, Man Vs. Debt was experiencing a huge growth spurt.  I was connecting with readers, growing my audience with targeted guest posts, and looking to shift to more of a “business” mode.  Unfortunately, I also started to shift responsibility for success onto external factors.

I started to feel overwhelmed at keeping up with e-mails, comments, and communications.  I started to believe I needed help scheduling (especially since we were traveling).  I felt I need to hire a VA (even though I wasn’t making any money) to do all the stuff that I didn’t want to do anymore.  That’s what “business mode” looked like in my head.

None of these things are terribly bad in themselves, but the problem was when I started to view them as my necessary steps in my business.  The simple fact was I was generating excuses.  I was placing hurdles, based on what I saw many other “successful” people doing in the online space.

If I woke up the next day with 10 employees, ready to work, my business wouldn’t have been any better off. Once I realized this, the beauty of Chris’ model really sunk in.  Chris processes and answers at least 10x the e-mail I do.  He’s created 6x the products, traveled to 20x the locations, and has much more demands on his time (large audience, upcoming book, speaking, etc…)

And Chris is just one example.  J.D. Roth is another.  There are dozens and dozens of example in my own life.  The only barriers to my success were internal.  Like Chris, I had built up a website, a blog, and business that would be based on caring. I did this both unintentionally and intentionally, because I love interacting with people.  It’s a source of empowerment.

Chris Guillebeau taught me that you can’t scale caring by outsourcing it.

Instead, he recently told me in Chicago, “Baker, my advice is that you have to pick which communication channels you are going to use and then do those extremely well.”

For example, Chris doesn’t respond to comments on his blog (he gets hundreds a week), but he’s nearly perfected e-mail.  He’s generated stock replies to handle many different e-mail situations (this is a big part of e-mail processing for me), but takes the time to genuinely answer authentic readers and fans.

In the outgoing realm, Chris reserves most of his writing for his own site, products, and book.  He rarely guest posts, saving his exposure for high-leverage industry leading sites (like Anderson Cooper’s blog).  He also doesn’t accept guest posts.  He’s active, but selective on Twitter and has built an amazingly passionate following on Facebook.  Heck, Seth Godin doesn’t even use Twitter!

Pick your channels carefully… and do them extremely well.

I still struggle with being selective about which communication channels I’ll utilize (for both outgoing and incoming), but I’ve learned a lot from Chris’ example.  Most importantly, I now fully recognize that I can build a business capable of 6-figure income, without “selling out” (staying true to me), without hiring a single employee, and without discovering some top-secret system.

The only thing standing in my way is…  me. I either do it or I don’t.

2.  Focus on “Benefits”…  not “Features”.

About a week before the launch of Unautomate Your Finances, Chris took time out to jump on the phone with me.  I barraged him with dozens of questions, but honestly I don’t remember any of them.  I do, however, remember how stressed I was about writing my first landing page.

For the first time on Man Vs. Debt, I was writing a page that was designed to sell.  I wanted to be able to convert a new visitor, but more importantly I wanted to stay true to the people who had supported me (a.k.a. I didn’t want to sound like an internet marketer).  I was stressed about writing it, what to say, and what people would think.

Talking to Chris, I whined “This landing page is going to kill me!  I just don’t know where to start or how to approach it.”

To which Chris replied, “By biggest advice is to focus on the benefits… not just the features, which is your first instinct.”

He was right. In my mind, I was thinking…  25,000 word eBook… video interviews with Leo and J.D….  cool bonuses… give me money and I’ll give you this list of things.  These were the features of my guide, not the benefits.

Chris continued, “The product is amazing, Baker.  You’ve worked your butt off and you know it’s way more valuable than what you’re charging.  Anyone who buys it is going to be impressed, so focus on the benefits you will give people… the problems you will help solve.”

Ding… ding… ding…  He was right, again. I had the advantage of deeply believing in what I was selling, because I had put the work, time, and value into it.  There was nothing to be nervous about actually, I just needed to really unearth what benefits my hard work could offer someone.

If you look at the landing page now (still the one I had on launch), nearly 75% of the page is dedicated to benefits.  It’s far from perfect and there are plenty of ways it can be approved, however I’m comfortable with it.  I’m scared to think of what it would look like, without this simple, but game-changing advice Chris gave me.

For another example, here’s my own breakdown of the features/benefits of Chris’ “Empire Building Kit“:

Features:

Literally what you get…  a.k.a. not as important as the Benefits.

• 7 Video interviews with entrepreneurs who have actually created passion-based businesses, which generate $50,000+ per year, with less than 3 employees.
• Each interview is downloadable and comes as an additional transcribed PDF
• 18 in-depth case studies of everything from murder-mystery theater, to person finance website (no not me), to photographer, to dog trainer.  Real life examples, some online, some offline, some mixed.
• 9 Tactical Videos on tools, principles such as Aweber, Upselling, Minimizing Refunds, Continuity Programs, Markets, and Affiliates.
• A Product Launch section containing a 43-item checklist (for launching a product) and a specific interview with Dave Navarro, “The Launch Coach”.
• A full breakdown of Chris’ business, income, product successes/failures, full numbers… gory details…
• 365 daily e-mails. Yes, 365… e-mails.  One a day, for a whole year.
• A “no question left behind” webinar with the original batch of customers from the first launch.

Now, that’s a lot of features.  But it still only conveys a tiny percentage of the value.

Benefits:

These are the benefits of the guide that I’ve personally received in my business…

• The video interviews inspire me, by showcasing real, tangible people who have created life-changing businesses around a passion.  Specifically, they dig deep down into how their business works and the specifics of how much they earn. I be lying if I didn’t admit this is a big benefit for me.  I’m always amazed and inspired about how much money is out there (and how much money genuine people are earning).  You don’t need a ton of subscribers, you don’t have to have a popular blog, or a new product/invention.  These interviews prove that through their transparency.  I love watching them.  I feel like I’m there inside the conversation.

• The 15+ PDF case studies showcase the wide variety of concepts that people are turning into businesses.  I love that Chris really searched wide for entertaining examples.  They aren’t all lifestyle design or personal finance bloggers, who built an audience and now sell information products.  Some are online and others are offline businesses.  The real benefit of these studies is in their ability to expand your brainstorming on what is possible. How about a person who makes doll clothes?  Stages homes?  Translator?  Web Designer?  This has really opened my eyes (and even Courtney’s eyes) to “outside the box” business opportunities.  There are tangible segments that are applicable to any business concept.  Any. I truly believe that after reading them.

• The tactical videos speak for themselves.  While I believe that the “how to” part of building a business is far easier to nail down than the why behind it, I admit that many of my questions early on were of a tactical nature. How to set-up and foster an e-mail list (I should have done this way early than I did).  The specifics of different business models… continuity programs, information products, affiliate marketing, and which is most applicable for your business moving forward.  Most importantly for me, there is tons of information on making the transition to selling: upselling, cross-selling different products, demonstrating value, and increasing repeat customers.  The real tactics on how to avoid mistakes early if you’re getting started or take your business up a notch if you’re already rolling.

• The 43-step Product Launch and interview with Dave Navarro is worth the price of the product alone.  I sincerely estimate that Chris’ advice on my first launch netted my at least $1500-$2000 extra dollars. This is a combination of tactics (step-by-step) and strategy (branding/marketing approach, etc…).  Once you get to the point of launch, 1 or 2 small tips can generate you tons of extra sales/revenue.

• At first, I was skeptical about the daily e-mails.  In fact, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to get them (I get enough e-mail).  Man, would I have been sorry.  You see, Chris understands that delivering access to so many features at once is a double-edged sword.  It allows people to dig in and get started right away, but often there is so much information that we may not process it all or even get to it all.  So Chris settled on giving the best of both worlds.  The content is available for anyone to go through at their own pace, however each day Chris highlights a business concept, theory, or tactic from the kit. Some e-mails may just be short reminders to think about a specific segment, while other may introduce a step-by-step walk through on evaluating opportunities to increase revenue.  Some point out specific concepts within the video interviews, while another may breakdown a item on the Product Launch checklist even further.  Something I wasn’t even sure I wanted, has quickly become my favorite part of the guide. Each e-mail tends to send me down a small rabbit hole… sometimes it causes just a 2 minute reflection, but other times it may lead to a complete overhaul of a project I’m working on.  It’s almost like a daily accountability to prioritize my business… perfect for me right now!  :-)

So if I were creating Chris’ landing page (which I’m not, he’s far better) or I was giving an interview about the Empire Building Kit (again, probably not needed), I would look back through the way the product has benefited me and extract the key problems it can solve for others.

This is now the same advice I pass onto anyone who asks and what I’ll be doing for any future project, guide, or business I’m involved in.  :-)

3.  Show Up and Ship It

This is one area where Chris’ actions speak louder than his words.  I’m sure he’s written about it several times, but I don’t remember his writing.  What sticks with me is what he does.

Simply, Chris just shows up. He writes.  Every Monday and Thursday for the last 2+ years like clockwork.  He answers e-mail.  He creates products.  He sets clear boundaries, communicates those to his fans, and then shows up.

Looking back, I’ve had foggy boundaries, done a poor job of passing those along, and been extremely inconsistent.  I’ve had periods of a month where I didn’t provide free value to readers through the blog (that’s just silly).  I’ve juggled the issue of which product to create, in which order, and exactly how it will look, and exactly how it will go.

Chris deals with this, too.  He procrastinates just like everyone else I know, but at the end of the day he “ships it”, as Seth Godin calls it.  He gets the product to a point where he can be proud and he delivers.  He doesn’t let the perfect, become the enemy of the good.

Last week, I talked to 3 different people who were working on their first product launch.  Different niches, even different mediums, but all with the exact same problem.  They were doing the same thing I do and did.  They were letting their quest for perfection delay and even destroy their ability to just freakin’ launch it.

So I told them the same thing, everyone with experience told me…  just freakin’ ship it.  Get it to 80% and let it fly. Screw market research, the best feedback you’ll ever get is once you try to sell it to someone.

The ability to adapt in business is much more desirable than the ability to plan.

Some may disagree with that advice, but every time I’ve followed it I’ve been glad I did.  As soon as it fails, I’ll let you know… but for now I’ll continually push myself to stick to Chris’ example on how to consistently show up and consistently ship it!

Final Thoughts

Don’t get me wrong, this post is a 100% endorsement of Chris’ Empire Building Kit.  It is the best investment you can make for your business that I’ve ever come across.  If someone is doing this better, I’ve not met them or seen the product.

At the same time, even Chris admits that 95% of his audience won’t ever purchase a premium product.  So for those of you that aren’t in a position to benefit from the guide, I wanted to share how I’ve been influenced.  I’m fairly confident there is value hidden somewhere above.  :-)

This is just the tip of the iceberg.  If you are interested in the “do what you love” part of this site.  If you are interested in creating a business based around a passion, that generates at least $50,000 per year, with less than 3 employees… the Empire Building Kit is the best of the best.  You should not only buy it, but you should seek out Chris Guillebeau as a mentor.

Bonus:  One-Hour Business Chat with me…

As an affiliate with Chris, if you decide to take your business to the next level with Empire Building Kit, I’ll jump on the phone with you for 1 full hour and talk about the specific details of your business, my experience online, building traffic, branding, launching a product…  whatever you need.

We can talk strategy (my favorite part) or I can answer specific questions about tactics, software, programs, and getting started.  You can pitch and idea and I’ll be completely honest about what I think, what I love, and the holes I can see.

I’m in no way a “business” coach (although I’m strongly considering launching coaching), but I’ve had the opportunity to receive a lot of advice from amazing people that I can pass along and apply to your particular situation.  This will not be about me (although we can spend 5 minutes on that if you like)… it’ll be about you and your business.

The Empire Building Kit is only available for 24 hours.  Once you order, send me and e-mail and we’ll get on the phone as soon as you have the time (I’ll make the time).

See you tomorrow!

[If you can't see the interview with Danielle, click here to view it directly.]

Today, I’m proud to share with you a rare guide I’ll be adding to the “Products I Love”.  (The first of two this month)!

Danielle LaPorte unleashed her much anticipated “Fire Starter Sessions” today.  Danielle, who blogs at White Hot Truth, has been someone I’ve looked up to since my first few months blogging.  She’s directly influenced my levels of transparency and my quest to be as genuine as possible here.

I interviewed her on finding passion, building momentum, avoiding burnout, and the details of her product launch.  Here’s the breakdown of the above video interview:

• [00:40] – Who is Danielle LaPorte?  (Danielle’s 30-sec elevator pitch)
• [02:05] - Danielle’s tips for unearthing your business passions.
• [03:10] - How Danielle defines a strength and a weakness. [<-- powerful]
• [04:25] - Danielle gives ME advice on finding my specific strengths.
• [05:55] - How to tap into the “real” reason certain people inspire you… and what resources/people inspired Danielle when she was getting into “go” mode.
• [08:50] - How to maintain your motivation/drive without hitting “burnout”
• [12:55] - Overcoming urges to conform and why being authentic will explode your business.
• [17:40] - The “features” of Danielle’s new “Fire Starter Sessions“  (What people get)
• [19:05] – The “benefits” of the “Fire Starter Sessions“.  (What’s it going to do for me?) 

My biggest takeaways…

As you can tell when you watch the video, I deeply enjoyed talking with Danielle.  There were at least two “a-ha” moments for me in our chat.

First, I loved how she defines strength and weaknesses (based on Marcus Buckingham’s work).  Danielle explained that true strengths are those things that make you feel “strengthened”… NOT necessarily what you are “good” at.  So many times, I reflect on something that I’m skilled at, or something that people tell me I’m skilled at… and call that a strength.  Danielle’s definition really resonates with me more.

The same is true for weaknesses.  There are some things that I may very well be great at, but that make me feel terrible or weak.  These are not strengths, then.  I get it now. 

The other big takeaway from this interview was Danielle’s approach to burnout. As you hear in the video, Danielle hates the stigma we’ve attached to the word “burnout”.  She talks about how it’s a necessary part of the entrepreneurial cycle and how we need to learn to not only accept it, but plan for it.  This help removes some of the negative energy and guilt that always accompanies downtime!

Since recording the video, I’ve had a chance to really dig into the “Fire Starter Sessions” product.  I’m genuinely amazed. I’m always careful about who I affiliate with and/or share with my audience, however it’s the real deal.  These two points on strengths and burnout are only a couple pages of the 200+ that come in the guide.  There are videos, audio recordings, workbooks, exercises.  It’s an inspiring example of a product/guide done right.

Danielle is one of the top 3-4 people I feed from in my business.  And I have no doubt the this guide is going to have an drastic impact on this site and my business.  I have absolutely no reservations in telling you to check this out.  It’s worth many times what it costs.:-)

This is a guest post by Matt Gartland. In his own words, Matt is a healthy lifestyle geek extraordinaire, blogger, world traveler, lifestyle entrepreneur, coffee fanatic, web techie, and more. He writes at Healthy Lifestyle Design (HLD), where he unleashes his passion for remarkable and unconventional living propelled by amazing health. Follow Matt on Twitter and join the HLD Tribe on Facebook.

Imagine eating yourself into an abyss of debt. It’s possible. And it’s not a pretty picture.

This tragedy befalls many unknowingly. How? Because many lack an adequate education about food and food products. Many don’t respect the profound lifelong impacts of their food choices. Many are short-sighted about the cost-relationship between food and money. And many believe there is no meaningful correlation between literal health and financial health.

So let’s get something straight - food is like money, in every way.

Food is a currency – actually, a collection of currencies. Different foods have different values (qualities) as currencies do. Thus, they have different exchange rates – some foods yield greater returns (lifestyle benefits) than others. And like smart investment decisions, smart food choices are wonderful long-term growth vehicles for your financial and literal health.

Hence, savvy food choices are way serious. So the need for dietary responsibility (like fiscal responsibility) is paramount. You have to make smart, conscious decisions to better your overall situation. If you don’t and instead allow yourself to make apathetic and nonchalant choices then you risk going way deep into debt.

Sadly, this allegory isn’t enough to assuage the danger. Many (perhaps you) will still fall victim to the veiled and pernicious sources of food-incited debt. So I think it’s high time that they be fully exposed and put into perspective.

1. Dining-Out Debts

We all know (or should) that dining out is (by far) more expensive than cooking meals yourself. We also (should) know that dining out is usually not a healthy affair – what with all the hidden additives, high processing, environmental contaminants, etc. Fast food joints are the obvious villains. But (sadly) many mainstream “high-end” restaurants (e.g. The Cheesecake Factory) offer meals riddled with hidden calories and unnatural ingredients.

Such overindulgence in dining out easily reeks havoc on your well-laid budget (you do have one, right?!). And costs are rising as the food industry ecosystem is waylaid by mounting economic pressures (transportation costs, raw material prices, etc.).

Overall, doesn’t sound like you’re getting a positive ROI on your dining out investments.

2. Excessive Alcohol & Alcohol-Related Debts

I know many that go wild at the bars and similar establishments. I’m sure you know the type. Okay, you may label these “entertainment” costs in your ledger, but I don’t. They involve alcohol (a food product), and lots of it. They involve nibbles, and lots of them too. You can fancy it up however you like – these expenses are still food choices that drive financial debt.

It gets worse because excessive alcohol debts are a double whammy. First, you get socked with the pricey bills in the present. Second, your health corrodes in the future, which triggers greater health care costs (more on that soon).

3. Food Waste Debts

Many don’t fully comprehend the gravity and magnitude of food waste.

What is food waste? Any and every food or food product that ends up in the rubbish bin. It could be fresh vegetables that have gone bad. It could be canned food items past their expiration date. It could be those leftovers from your last dining out venture.

You paid good money for all these things. And you’re chucking it away – usually without a second thought. The cliché “flushing money down the toilet” comes to mind. It’s criminal, and damn expensive!

4. Food Label Debts

I’m a healthy lifestyle geek, don’t get me wrong. But you don’t need to buy everything “healthy”.

What is “healthy”?

It’s a noble ideal that’s been bastardized by the modern food industry for insidious marketing. Classic culprits include “all natural”, “certified humane”, “free range”, and “grass fed” labels. These terms have been poorly defined by the USDA and are thusly near-impossible to regulate. Nevertheless, despite inconsistent health benefits (at best), food manufacturers will gladly sell you these wonder products for a pretty penny.

Organics deserve special mention. I do eat organics, absolutely! But only those products that yield the greatest nutritional (quality) returns. Keep in mind that all organics are NOT created equal

No need to take my word for it. The Internet has a wealth of good information for your perusal. Here are two to get you started:

• Ethical Meat vs Meat Hype: A Look at “All Natural”, “Grass Fed” and Other Half-Truths – by Tim Ferriss
• Deciding Which Produce to Buy Organic; The Dirty Dozen – by WiseBread

5. Supplement Debts

Supplements are like double-taxation. First, they’re bloody expensive. Second, they propogate a nutritionally inadequate base diet, thus fueling the need for more supplements. This is a vicious cycle – eat poorly and thus you need supplements; take more supplements and you convince yourself you can “get away” with eating poorly. Rinse and repeat.

Worse yet, many supplements are shams. Oodles of folks buy miracle protein powders, detox diet pills, dangerous metabolic accelerators, weird tropical extracts, and more. Crap, crap, and more crap. The lot of this stuff is nothing but snake oil and pixie dust.

I’ll give that some quality supplements (multi-vitamins, probiotics, omega-3, etc.) are good, even necessary if you have an abysmal diet or genuine medical condition. But if you’re of average health most supplements are pure nonsense. They certainly won’t turn you into Brad Pitt. But you’ll certainly be spending like a Hollywood star.

6. Health Care Debts

Health care debts are the worst travesty of all. They’re astronomically high. And their financial impacts are heart-breaking, horrid, and unacceptable. I’ve written about these inconvenient truths before. It’s important that some be re-shared now.

• The US ranks 1st in health care costs as percentage of Gross Domestic Product (GDP) – 16.2% in 2007, projected 20.3% in 2018 (1)
• US health care costs will average $8,160 in 2009 for every man, woman, and child (1)
• US health care costs are estimated to be $13,100 in 2018 for every man, woman, and child (1)
• 1.5 million US families lose their homes to foreclosure every year due to unaffordable medical costs (2)
• 62 percent of all US bankruptcies filed in 2007 were linked to medical expenses. Of those who filed for bankruptcy, nearly 80 percent had health insurance (2)
• 178,000 US small business jobs will be lost by 2018 as a result of health care costs (2)
• $834 billion in US small business wages will be lost due to high health care costs over the next ten years (2)
• US small businesses will pay nearly $2.4 trillion dollars over the next ten years in health care costs for their workers (2)

Granted, not all health care costs pertain to your eating habits. But many do. The metastasizing obesity epidemic is proof of that. Consider this – obesity is a leading cause of the following (3):

• Coronary heart disease
• Type 2 diabetes
• Cancers (endometrial, breast, and colon)
• Hypertension (high blood pressure)
• Dyslipidemia (for example, high total cholesterol or high levels of triglycerides)
• Stroke
• Liver and Gallbladder disease
• Sleep apnea and respiratory problems
• Osteoarthritis (a degeneration of cartilage and its underlying bone within a joint)
• Gynecological problems (abnormal menses, infertility)

The Bottom Line

Any good financial report has a bottom line. Here’s mine:

The food you eat has profound affects on the financial and literal health of your life.

This is a great bottom line! Why? Because it proves that you are in total control of a major factor in your financial life. If you exercise smart and sensible dietary responsibility you’ll reap a wonderful ROI – both financially and health-wise.

And a final word of warning – don’t get shortsighted.

Yes, healthier food choices will surely increase your net food spend upfront. But think big picture. An investment today in healthy food choices will payout massive dividends down the road. Think of all the supplements you can stop taking. Imagine drastically lower health care costs. Couple those with an optimized food management philosophy that reduces waste and eliminates senseless indulgences and you have a kick-ass plan live fantastically healthy and debt-free!

Sources:

1. Health Care Costs to Top $8,000 Per Person – ABC News
2. Health Care Facts: Costs – National Coalition on Health Care
3. Health Consequences – Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Baker’s Note: I’m super impressed with Matt’s surge onto the blogging scene.  This was one of the most well-written and professional guest post submissions I’ve ever received (his article, the e-mail, his passion).  Do me a favor and check out Healthy Lifestyle Design, you’ll be able to say you were there before it was HUGE. 

[If you cannot see the video above, click here to watch the interview directly]

Episode 4 features Grant Peelle and Alan Ledford of The Ren Men Show. Grant and Alan have built a Real Estate portfolio of 80+ properties, run a vending machine business, own a video production company, and just recently started a used car lot.  Their online video show, The Ren Men Show, is the best produced and edited show I’ve ever seen in the niche.  They go in depth with different issues surrounding their businesses and passive income opportunities and always seem to have a blast in the process.  I never miss a week!

Episode 4 Content Guide:

• [01:00] - A 30-sec introduction to what Grant, Alan, and The Ren Men Show is all about!
• [02:10] - The size of their Real Estate portfolio and why they’ve decided to branch into other business, as well.
• [03:45] - Being able to seize opportunities, a.k.a. how they ended up in the used car business.
• [05:10] - Why the ability to adapt is much more valuable than the ability to plan.
• [06:50] – Grant and Alan’s management styles (they are polar opposites) and how they’ve turned that into a strength.
• [09:35] – Grant’s background and motivation in getting into the entrepreneurial lifestyle.
• [11:20] – Alan’s background and why he feels like a non-entrepreneurial entrepreneur.
• [12:10] - Grant and Alan’s 3 core mentors who have inspired their business ventures.
• [14:20] - The opportunity to leverage offline skills in the online world.
• [15:25] - I ask the Ren Men where they see themselves in 2 years!  (Specific numbers/goals for each venture)

The Ren Men’s question for you!

I forgot to ask the Ren Men for a question for you guys!  Doh!  (fail)

However, I know these guys are passionate about searching out opportunities for true passive income.  While they both possess an intense work ethic, they are constantly pushing for ways to “remove self” from their business.  They focus on building systems and delegating the “busy work” to focus on growth.

Personally, this is an area I can work on a lot more (and Grant is pushing me to do so).  The larger my business grows the more of a “job” I’m building for myself.  I don’t mind putting in the effort, especially in a field that I’m passionate about.  However, there is at least 50% of my day-to-day activities that I could be “removing self” from.  This would free up my time, my energy, and my stress levels to tackle the things that could really add significant growth and satisfaction. 

What are your thoughts on passive income? I like the concept, but haven’t done a great job in aligning myself with it.  Grant and Alan seem to really “get” the concept and use it as the focus of their efforts.  What about you?

Is your ultimate goal some form of passive income (retirement, business, investments)?  Are there ways you could make your current income more passive?  Let me know in the comments below!

Don’t forget to stop by and subscribe to The Ren Men Show.  You’ll be impressed.  I promise.

This post is going to serve a couple purposes.  I want to update everyone on our travel “situation” (especially those who don’t follow me on Twitter or on Facebook).  And I also want to shed light on a tough crossroads that Courtney and I have found ourselves.

For anyone who doesn’t know, we are currently back home in Indiana. We’ve been home for a couple months now.  Undoubtedly, this yields two questions…

1. Why did you decide to come home?
2. When/where are you going to go next?

Unfortunately, neither of these questions have a single sentence answer!  (I know, right)

Why we decided to come home…

From the beginning, we had designed our initial overseas adventure to last a year.  In the end, we cut it a couple months short of that when we chose to leave Thailand early and fly back to Indiana.

Our decision to come home was prompted by two factors:

1. A private issue in our family that, while it didn’t require that we come home, encouraged it.
2. The fact that we were incredibly burnt out.

It would be convenient to say that #1 played the largest role…  that it was out of our control.  But that’s not the case.  The reality was that we were burnt out and looking for the first justification we could.

Our international travel has been divided up into three distinctly different experiences.  When we first arrived in Australia, we had no clue what we were doing and were frequently changing locations.  We were running on pure adrenaline, having just set forth on something we had previous thought to be impossible.  There was stress, but everything was new and interesting and compelling.

As the weeks wore by, we started to encounter our first real troublesome set of problems with visas and finding jobs.  In other words, it only took a couple weeks for our new fairy tale to turn back into real life…  it happened quickly.  Admittedly, we lost some of the “living in the moment” attitude in our quest to make the lifestyle more than a month long vacation.

As many of you know, our search led us to New Zealand where Courtney landed a teaching gig.  This entered us into the second clear phase of our travel.  We spent right around 6 months living in one location in downtown Auckland.  Courtney worked the 9-5, as I played stay-at-home-dad and poured nap time and evenings into this blog.

This was our true first taste of living abroad.  Really living.  We were spending less than we earned (while stationary) and if we had wanted, we could have stayed indefinitely (Courtney was offered to stay another two years at the school).  It felt good to know that we had “accomplished” a big part of our goal, but it was far a fairy tale.

After saving a little bit more money, we then entered into the third phase.  We spent two weeks driving the South Island of New Zealand.  To be honest, this was my absolute favorite part of the entire experience (I think Courtney’s too).  We had spent 6 months rather stationary and were ready for another adventure.

But we didn’t stop there. Looking back I don’t regret our decision to head to Thailand.  Part of me may have chosen to either stay in NZ or come back home for a pit stop if I had to make it again.  But missing out on Thailand would have meant missing out on a lot of new experiences and growth, not to mention missing out on meeting several amazing people.

For starters, we found out that Thailand really wasn’t for us.  We didn’t dislike our experience and it seems like an amazing fit for a decent portion of people.  It just didn’t speak to us.  We didn’t connect on a deep level.

To be honest, the cards were stacked against Thailand. We were on more limited funds by this point.  We had just spent two weeks camping and driving.  We had unreasonable expectations on what it would be like (and how cheap it would be).  On top of that, we were experiencing a new “phase” with Milligan.

When we started traveling, Milligan was just 13 months old.  She could walk, but wasn’t interested in that form of transportation for too long.  When it was time to nap… she napped, whether that was in a hostel, a backpack, or a bus.  Most importantly, she hadn’t yet realized that screaming in a foreign place, surrounded by strangers, got her a boatload of attention very quickly.

Towards the end of our stay in the apartment in New Zealand things were different.  She wanted to walk everywhere.  She only liked her backpack about 20% of the time.  If there were cool things going on, she’d want to be up and exploring… not napping (missed naps are never a good thing).  Oh, and she quickly realized that screaming on a completely packed, completely silent rail train in the middle of Bangkok got everyone’s attention… quickly.

It wasn’t all bad, though. Most of the time in Thailand was actually spent in a private, pool-side Bungalow, across from another location independent family.  Milligan quickly made friends with the all female staff and genuinely had a blast.  But the on/off nature of her journey into the “terrible twos” weighed on Courtney and me.

Looking back, I don’t think that Milligan was the problem.  I think that self-generated stress on my part clouded my perception of what was going on.  Under stress, I only concentrated on her tantrums and not the 80% of the time she was smiling, running around, and saying Thai phrases like “thank you” and “bye-bye”.

I think my short comings were in my failure to be fully present, because of the stress of this blog (specifically monetizing all my hard work) and the stress of ongoing travel.  I think very little of it had to do with the environment or our schedule, both of which found decent grooves.

Whatever the cause, we were presented with an opening to come home… and we took it.  It wasn’t a snap decision.  We thought out the pros/cons and just decided there was nothing wrong with cutting the trip short a few months.  We did incur extra cost, but were able to mitigate a lot of that by finding a deal on airfare.

We ended up dipping into our emergency fund to make it home (on the flights), but it was a decision that we deemed worth it.

Since coming back to Indiana…

After two pit stops (including a weird one in Hong Kong) we finally landed in Chicago a full day after we boarded the plane in Ko Phi Phi, Thailand.  As we went through customs, I handed our passports to the guy working the incoming arrivals section.  He scanned all three passports, checked our faces against our photos and then looked up at me and said…

“Welcome home.”

We still had a short flight from Chicago to Indianapolis, but I actually teared up after hearing those words.  It may be hard to understand the situation and I fully realize there are thousands of people whom spend much more away on much more important causes (military, international volunteers, etc…).

At the time we were under plenty of stress, had minimal sleep on 24 hours worth of flights, and knew our families were waiting for us after our 35 minute flight to Indy.  I just felt… relieved.

After a couple weeks of staying with family, Courtney and I reevaluated what we wanted to do.  We knew we needed a break, but weren’t about to sign a year lease somewhere.  A year just seemed way too long to commit to anywhere on the planet.

Ultimately, we found a three bedroom house for rent and negotiated no deposit and only a 6-month lease.  We knew this would give me time to finishing launching a product that had been in the works for months and months and would let us weigh some of our future options.

Well, we’ve been here going on 2.5 out of 6 months now. As you know, I finally did finish and launch Unautomate Your Finances (thank you again!).  Courtney decided to take a two-month maternity opening at a local school (actually one we both attended in elementary) and for the first time in her life Milligan is going to daycare with a local homeschooling family.

So that’s the update. It’s not as sexy as some of the past, but we are already feeling recharged.  It’s awesome to have the support of our family and I know they enjoy having Milligan around.  I’ve been able to make some big strides with turning this blog and my writing into a full-time business.

Coming home was a fantastic decision.  That said, we are itching at what to do next.  We are at a crossroads.

What’s next…  where… when… how long…

We don’t know.  We don’t know where.  We don’t know when.  We don’t know for how long.

Well, we do know we have a little over 3 months left here at least.  Courtney will be finishing out her temporary teaching gig in 5 weeks and I’m diligently working on product number #2 (“Sell Your Crap” guide). 

But in 3.5 months we have a really, really big decision.  One that has been weighing on us.

First, I firmly believe we could do anything. That’s a good feeling to have, but at the same time, not one that helps with the decision making process.  We’ve consider going to South America, RV’ing around the U.S., staying in Indiana for another year, and even staying permanently and having babies and houses (I know, right).

To be honest, there is no clear choice.  Both Courtney and I feel that it still isn’t the right time to plant our roots.  And even if it was, neither of us is fully comfortable with Indianapolis as the choice.

The only reason in the entire world we’d stay in Indiana is our family.  Problem is, that’s a big reason.  We are really blessed to have an overwhelming amount of support while we are here.  Not a weekend goes by where we aren’t visiting family in some fashion, sometimes 3 or 4 locations every weekend.  It’s something we really missed while traveling.

But is family, and only family, reason enough to stay in Indianapolis? It’s tough.  Every other day I waiver, but it doesn’t feel right.  At least not right now.

The longer we stay here, the more the area is drawing us to make it permanent.  We are accumulating more and more stuff, despite trying to keep things minimal.  Courtney is slowly being pulled to consider a more permanent position and I’m even having thoughts of real estate and property management again (part-time).  It’s like an unidentifiable life force that gets stronger and stronger each week we stay.

But we just spent the last 2 years fighting against a very similar life force that was taking us down a path we didn’t necessarily want.  In fact, the core of this blog… the core of our philosophy and journey has been not to allow those life forces to pull us in a direction we didn’t want to go.

As it stands, neither Courtney or I want to stay in Indianapolis longer than another year.  We’ve decided that.  But staying another school year (until next summer) has a lot of benefits.  Courtney could get a full-time position and with the projected success of my business/writing income over the next 3-6 months, we could likely attack a BIG portion of our student loans.

At the very least we could once again buckle down and save tens of thousands of dollars if we wanted.  It’s not only possible, it’s likely… if we chose to stay another year.

But I’m scared.

I’m scared that staying that extra time will generate even more excuses.  I’m scared the life force will catch up to us and we’ll have a mortgage, and a bowling league, and a big screen t.v.

In addition, staying a year, but knowing you are leaving is tough.  We’ve done it the last two years in different spots.  You want to join a church, but know you will be leaving.  You want to deepen relationship with local friends, but know you’ll be ditching them in less than a year.  There are countless activities where you say…  well, this would be nice to do if we weren’t leaving.

So you end up living a half-assed, gimped life, because you are scared of entering into an experience that will keep you tied down.  Too much thirst for not being tied down, means you suddenly find yourself living with single-serving friends, in single-serving social settings, pursuing single-serving passions.

I’m not sure there is a way to have both.  I’m not sure there is a way to live “in the moment” and as passionately as if you planned on doing something the rest of your life, but then pack up and leave it.  Lots of “lifestyle designer” and “travel hackers” claim to have found it.  But I’m not sure I believe any of them.

I know one thing.  We are neither “lifestyle designers” or “travel hackers” and we certainly haven’t found the sweet spot.  And honestly, the spot is going to be different for each and every person/family.  A female solo-travler, a male solo-travler, a young couple, a retired couple, a young family of 3, or a family of 8 roaming the countryside.  They aren’t even all fruits, let alone the same fruit.

Ultimately, I think that we still want to have travel as part of our permanent lifestyle. But I think it looks different from our first trip out into the world.  I think it involves having a home-base (wherever we decide home is) and traveling for 6-month on/off.  Maybe 3 months in one location, 3 months in another.  Staying in one place and really getting to experience one culture.

Let’s get an apartment in Argentina for 3-month and then hop over to a cabin in Alaska for another 3, before returning home for the summer/winter.  Something like that.

We’ve not even touched 95% of the world and I’m not o.k. with getting hit by a bus tomorrow and knowing that.  The older Milligan gets the more of the world I want her to experience.  That’s the real priority for me.

So here we are.

I know there isn’t a right answer.  And I know a lot of you may not be able to relate to the specifics.  But our journey, both the ups and downs… the impulses and the hesitations, are a core part of this blog.  And sharing our experience, not only captures it, but helps me reflect on it.

I don’t want “do what you love” to just be a saying in the banner of this site.  Courtney and I both deeply believe in it and want it to be a core principle of our life.

But how can you “do what you love” when you have no idea what you… love?

Heck, maybe I’ll just throw up 10 options and have you all vote on it.  That seems unlikely to backfire…  o.O

Note:  If you made it this far…  thanks.  I’m pumped to have you along for the ride! 

photo by monkeywing